tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18788384947748048032024-03-14T05:40:06.943-07:00Nikki Rae's BlogNikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-86466430324063950842015-09-14T18:29:00.002-07:002015-09-14T18:33:53.623-07:00Misconseptions About People Who Work From Home<br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hi, my name is Nikki and I work from home. If you don’t
know, in addition to being an indie author, I have my own editing business
called<a href="http://metamorphosiseditingservices.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b> Metamorphosis Editing Services</b></a>. Since last January, it has become my
full-time day job and I rarely have any complaints. When I got out of college,
like most Litt majors, I had no fucking idea what to do next. I tried applying
for jobs and failed. I worked a job at a pet store and hated how draining it
was to know I had a degree and was barely making nine dollars an hour. So when
I couldn’t find the job I wanted, I <i>created </i>it. I decided that if nothing else,
I could put it on my resume and maybe a future employer would appreciate it and
hire me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">However, slowly, something that was meant to be a hobby/second
job became my full-time job and I started making enough money to quit my retail
career. Working from home is awesome. Editing other authors’ work is awesome.
But there are a few misconceptions that grate on my nerves. Here are just a few
things people say to me/assume.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.gifwave.com/media/383573_dancing-office-working-workplace.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.gifwave.com/media/383573_dancing-office-working-workplace.gif" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So you can go to work in your pajamas? That’s
so cool! </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Except you get stuck in your pajamas for
almost the entire day and when you have to get dressed and actually interact
with the outside world, you don’t know what to do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp1kvqZmBw1qaspta.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp1kvqZmBw1qaspta.gif" height="169" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As long as you have your computer, you can work
from anywhere! Awesome!</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yes. This is absolutely true—which is
awesome. But it also means that I do not get to clock in and out at designated
times. Sometimes it’s hard to separate work life from home life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maklg8s5O21qhkmf3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maklg8s5O21qhkmf3.gif" height="164" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Can you come over/go shopping/get day drunk
with me on a Monday at 10 a.m.?</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I know it seems like I can just drop whatever
I’m doing, but if I don’t work I don’t make money. If I don’t make money I can’t
eat. And I like eating. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://media1.giphy.com/media/hXYlYBixtHEFq/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://media1.giphy.com/media/hXYlYBixtHEFq/giphy.gif" height="172" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So you can just, like, take off whenever,
right?</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Nope. Not really. See above.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://secretlystephie.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/tumblr_ld6mfaskld1qcn7d7.gif?w=500" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://secretlystephie.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/tumblr_ld6mfaskld1qcn7d7.gif?w=500" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When are you going to get a “real” job?</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This one sucks the most. This is the most “real”
job I’ve ever had. I have never before in my life taken anything so seriously
and passionately as editing. So shut your face.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i.imgur.com/RYYnVMi.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i.imgur.com/RYYnVMi.gif" height="178" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yeah, but you didn’t have to DRIVE anywhere.
You basically roll out of bed and start your day! Lucky you!</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yeah. I pretty much roll out of bed every
day and start working. I don’t get the extra time to settle into my work role and
prepare for the day via car ride or talking to my coworkers about their
weekends. If I am awake, I am working.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.giphy.com/media/WlO1w80OvRTcQ/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://media.giphy.com/media/WlO1w80OvRTcQ/giphy.gif" height="266" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">actual gif of me in the morning</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At least you don’t have to deal with PEOPLE all
day.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Not in person, no. But I have to speak to
people all day err day. Email, messages, everything. And I sometimes have to be
more in depth than a customer service job because they are not right there with
me, able to see what I am talking about. Also, not talking to people has </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">seriously diminished my social skills
(which were awful to being with).</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/11/16/enhanced/webdr10/anigif_enhanced-buzz-24312-1426107585-13.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/11/16/enhanced/webdr10/anigif_enhanced-buzz-24312-1426107585-13.gif" height="160" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But you get to make your own schedule!</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Everything in my life has to be scheduled.
Have you seen my planner? If I don’t write it down, it doesn’t happen and I
have no one to hold accountable but myself. I have no one telling me when to
get things done besides me. It’s awesome most of the time, but it can also be a
lot of pressure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/TFQjr7D4lF8FG/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/TFQjr7D4lF8FG/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You must have soooo much less stress being able
to work from home!</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Not always true. I mean, I don’t have an
awful boss breathing down my neck or customers asking dumb questions they could
easily find the answers to themselves if they read the directions on their fish
tank guide (Ugh. Don’t miss it at all), but as I hinted at already, I am the
entire company in most cases. If someone isn’t happy, it’s my fault. If
something doesn’t get done on time, it’s my fault. It’s a lot of
responsibility, which can sometimes be stressful.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://monogrammedmagnolias.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/47368-etaxjdx.gif?w=656" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://monogrammedmagnolias.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/47368-etaxjdx.gif?w=656" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I would never be able to do that. I mean, what
would I even DO with myself?</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well, I dunno. Would you be working or
just cruising the internet (which is another thing people seem to think I do
all day)? I always have something to do (gratefully) and I am never bored.
Honestly, I love the job I created for myself and I’m happy I took the plunge
to do it almost a year ago. However, it’s not for everyone. It’s isolating,
demanding, and you have to motivate yourself. Which makes it pretty perfect for
me. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Garamond; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Garamond; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/89525c4f3e4edc58433cb6dfc8ef9e28/tumblr_ntv57vzUMO1uz69m2o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/89525c4f3e4edc58433cb6dfc8ef9e28/tumblr_ntv57vzUMO1uz69m2o1_500.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Garamond; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Garamond; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"></span></span></div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-23769078071911107132015-08-20T06:45:00.000-07:002015-08-20T06:46:12.562-07:00The Donor Re-release!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjd0M4gg3JM0n4r-vJOzZ1a_bYr5hxYX9K0igadA76zedh0al_c0VXEf-bll2tQrHRtWXW1BsmQPYYlHlNfS_L-SKGj_HuM4nHckcQ0VqpY_eg566zyk5ESjaw3ioW_QqkTKXAdUZtgtP8/s1600/11269315_428605877320363_388652302_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjd0M4gg3JM0n4r-vJOzZ1a_bYr5hxYX9K0igadA76zedh0al_c0VXEf-bll2tQrHRtWXW1BsmQPYYlHlNfS_L-SKGj_HuM4nHckcQ0VqpY_eg566zyk5ESjaw3ioW_QqkTKXAdUZtgtP8/s640/11269315_428605877320363_388652302_o.jpg" width="416" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Buy the book </span><b style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Donor-Nikki-Rae-ebook/dp/B013PYDVKS/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">HERE</a></span></b></div>
<b style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Take a look at what I'm giving away!</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/IlLAPYzr1w8/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IlLAPYzr1w8?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="font-size: large;">And ENTER to win some swag!</span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a class="rcptr" data-raflid="e296563410" data-template="" data-theme="classic" href="http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/e296563410/" id="rcwidget_2p90fgdn" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway</a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<script src="//widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js"></script></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Today, I am happy to announce that my little book, The Donor is being re-released through Vamptasy Publishing. It's gone through another round of edits, had its cover revamped, and with the help of many, I have put together a blog tour, party, and giveaways (by the way, you should join the party if you want a chance to win some cool stuff!).<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiays63TFoDHceMW2pynua3XAf-nHhyphenhyphenwNZHK1WKuTuxd3wpzLTvrzIegSHmI-NaxvewKWAxRxecllq86oEGmLC3HFwaZa32J4koLwsU9qM0brGrF5Is2_A31LSthBt8mmpbozvd-5DqAjzW/s1600/tunnel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiays63TFoDHceMW2pynua3XAf-nHhyphenhyphenwNZHK1WKuTuxd3wpzLTvrzIegSHmI-NaxvewKWAxRxecllq86oEGmLC3HFwaZa32J4koLwsU9qM0brGrF5Is2_A31LSthBt8mmpbozvd-5DqAjzW/s640/tunnel.jpg" width="425" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Here is the list of blogs participating:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
Worlds of Words; <a href="http://worldsofwords.wix.com/bookblog" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">http://worldsofwords.wix.com/<wbr></wbr>bookblog</a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
The Ultimate Fan Blog: <a href="http://theultimatefanblog.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">http://theultimatefanblog.com/</a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
the Violet Hour Book Reviews: <a href="https://theviolethourbookreviews.wordpress.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">https://<wbr></wbr>theviolethourbookreviews.<wbr></wbr>wordpress.com/</a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
Love Me Some Books: <a href="http://lovemesomebooks.blogspot.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">lovemesomebooks.blogspot.com</a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
Moonlight Gleam Book Reviews: <a href="http://moonlightgleam.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">http://moonlightgleam.com/</a><br />
Vampires, Crime and Angels...Eclectic Me: <a href="https://ellelainey.wordpress.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">https://ellelainey.wordpress.<wbr></wbr>com/</a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
Paranormal tendencies: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ParanormalTendencies" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/<wbr></wbr>ParanormalTendencies</a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
Kelly Smith Reviews: <a href="http://kellysmithreviews.blogspot.com/?zx=294ed8deb67f6f1c" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">http://kellysmithreviews.<wbr></wbr>blogspot.com/?zx=<wbr></wbr>294ed8deb67f6f1c</a><br />
IndieWritersReview: <a href="https://indiewritersreview.wordpress.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">https://indiewritersreview.<wbr></wbr>wordpress.com/</a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
Mama Reads Hazel Reads: <a href="http://mamareniazen.wordpress.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">http://mamareniazen.wordpress.<wbr></wbr>com</a><br />
A British Bookworm's Blog: <a href="http://www.britishbookwormblog.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">www.britishbookwormblog.com</a><br />
Princessica of Books: <a href="http://princessicaofbooks.wordpress.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">http://princessicaofbooks.<wbr></wbr>wordpress.com</a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<div style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">And you can also go </span><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.promostarservices.com/2015/08/invite-donor-by-nikki-rae-blog-tour-aug.html" target="_blank">HERE</a> </span><span style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">to see more of The Donor fun (special thanks to Promo Stars)!</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYCpX44J-FCY8nmVczP1Py4Apcpm2_qVwBcjLCJDd0kaEHG_WmtM_Pgywavs68GTfOeiSqt-7Y6ttKl6ougl6DmRQAscfYrspMB_7XXL9M2uGJdpP-DCkbSZflMjzOIJ601X9HKuQG_NpC/s1600/I+had+never+seen....jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYCpX44J-FCY8nmVczP1Py4Apcpm2_qVwBcjLCJDd0kaEHG_WmtM_Pgywavs68GTfOeiSqt-7Y6ttKl6ougl6DmRQAscfYrspMB_7XXL9M2uGJdpP-DCkbSZflMjzOIJ601X9HKuQG_NpC/s640/I+had+never+seen....jpg" width="640" /></a>It was hard for me to go with an indie publishing house, but I've always wanted to do it, and The Donor had been out a little while and I felt like not enough people were seeing it. This was about oh, I don't know, six months ago. Then I submitted the book, and they accepted me. I have been introduced to a whole lot of awesome authors, bloggers, and an all around great community I never even knew existed inside the indie realm. I really grateful I found them for this project.<br />
<br />
Anyway, it's Re-release Day! What does that mean for you? Well, you get a semi-new book from me, obviously. You get chances to win prizes, and of course, you get to see all the beautiful teasers!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-QfSQs2oh6ERuAo-MbynGrQ3KnYpqcPYXG09BwjAnC8qukgebApOT04e4zs8zv5OJho0RH24UFMaUWsf32oK57Hg1qbFJL3So42fO_M15CAPseL2pio9y66i-0rG5o2b5NrjAJ3ZMLcvF/s1600/the+donor+promo+1+with+teaser.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-QfSQs2oh6ERuAo-MbynGrQ3KnYpqcPYXG09BwjAnC8qukgebApOT04e4zs8zv5OJho0RH24UFMaUWsf32oK57Hg1qbFJL3So42fO_M15CAPseL2pio9y66i-0rG5o2b5NrjAJ3ZMLcvF/s640/the+donor+promo+1+with+teaser.jpg" /></a>About The Donor:<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Casey Williams and her family are poor. Her parents work non-stop and so does she, just so they can keep the trailer roof from leaking. They’re getting by fine enough when the headaches start. Then there’s the nosebleeds. And the inevitable doctor’s bills. Fortunately for Casey, there’s MyTrueMatch.com: an exclusive, quick, and almost easy way to pay it all back before her parents even have to know. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">All she has to do is give a man she’s never met whatever he wants from her body. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Inside or out. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfWAOyp5Q9-7IMFsluUnLhDLDQCa7jdVrljx2FPxtLjTkHPEs_dtSlg2PtwZx5AYpm7-uarzTRw6OZNafo2Vmy7Vjrz95XdSxJ85LkTI51V6PA5zKjqwL3NaW2h_8b-aUdQB27QWzMBnzh/s1600/10246374_10201766080784391_6327149890242641859_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfWAOyp5Q9-7IMFsluUnLhDLDQCa7jdVrljx2FPxtLjTkHPEs_dtSlg2PtwZx5AYpm7-uarzTRw6OZNafo2Vmy7Vjrz95XdSxJ85LkTI51V6PA5zKjqwL3NaW2h_8b-aUdQB27QWzMBnzh/s640/10246374_10201766080784391_6327149890242641859_n.jpg" width="486" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
Thank you so much for all of your support! I can't wait to see what you all think of this one. It's one of my favorites. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.strongtowerranch.org/wp-str/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/heart-outline-th.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.strongtowerranch.org/wp-str/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/heart-outline-th.png" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
--Nikki<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span><!--3-->Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-49068620776417516352015-07-22T18:31:00.001-07:002015-07-23T07:36:14.356-07:00Being A Creative Person<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/71/31/32/713132dbfa6c7c933a04f54af3ce749d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/71/31/32/713132dbfa6c7c933a04f54af3ce749d.jpg" width="221" /></a><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. What drives me to write. Why
I keep going, even when I don’t necessarily want to at times. Here’s what I’ve
come up with (most at three in the morning, so forgive me). </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Whether you paint, write, design, cook, build, dance, whatever,
the thing you do is unique to anyone else: you create something out of nothing.
That’s the thrill of it. That’s what keeps us coming back for more. That’s why,
despite what little money there is to be made and how much we feel like we’re
only shouting into the void, we keep creating, even if it means only a handful
of people see it and get it. Even if it means no one wants to look.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mostly, we’re happy creatures. Give us what we want to make
and we will create life from a mound of dirt with smiles on our dirty little
faces like a toddler on spaghetti night. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But there’s a but. At least for me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://40.media.tumblr.com/1ae4ceb7099edb57490111de357657f5/tumblr_mprs6bjwe01rff1ieo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://40.media.tumblr.com/1ae4ceb7099edb57490111de357657f5/tumblr_mprs6bjwe01rff1ieo1_500.jpg" width="272" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.toxel.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/coffeestain07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Some artists have a tough time being creative—not that they
can’t find the inspiration or actually<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> do
the thing</i> that makes them feel human, but just in general. We have a hard
time relating to people on basic levels. Someone can get upset over sugar in
their black coffee and we’re busy counting the stained rings on the table
cloth, wondering how we can work this one detail into something later on. We have
a hard time finding time and when we do, it never seems like enough. We have a
hard time making money, or at the very least, being taken seriously. People ask
you what you do at Christmas and say, “oh, that’s nice,” in the dismissive way
someone tells you to pass the salt. We spend so much time trying to describe
the human condition with our creations, but that doesn’t mean we understand it
any more than the next person. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.wallpaperfly.com/thumbnails/detail/20140102/macro%20light%20bulbs_www.wallmay.net_63.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.wallpaperfly.com/thumbnails/detail/20140102/macro%20light%20bulbs_www.wallmay.net_63.jpg" height="200" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And the ideas. The inspiration or lack thereof. I will have
ideas that flow through me faster than I can write them down and worse, before
they are ready. I fear a lot of times that I pick flowers before they’re fully
grown and if I had waited a year or so to write something, maybe it would be
fuller and more beautiful. But sitting still is worse. I cannot sit still at
all. As soon as I am halfway done writing one book, I have started another. As
of right now, I am working on three books. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I wish I could sit still. I wish I could just write
something, be happy with it forever and not cringe when I look back on it
(sometimes I like things, but not often), and move on. Give myself time to
relax and do all the things people keep telling me I should do like see certain
shows or travel. Even when I tell myself it is going to be a laid back night at
home, I am always thinking. I can never live entirely in this world. One foot
is always in fiction. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am not complaining. These are just things I’ve noticed
about myself lately, now that I have even more limited time because of my
business becoming more of a full
time-holy-shit-I-can-do-this-the-rest-of-my-life job. I used to be able to take
a whole day and read anything I wanted. Now, when I have free time, I feel
guilty if I am reading something that is not research for another book, or
something I can learn from in some way. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We don’t really get time off. We don’t really have free
time. Our minds are always running, always shifting back and forth between
surroundings, between what we’re going to do next. Ask any creative person what
their next project is and they will tell you, vaguely and confusingly, that
they aren’t sure, but they have some ideas. Even when we don’t, the pressure to
create that we put on ourselves is much heavier than any other. We need to keep
moving, keep creating, keep looking at things from different angles until it
makes sense.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/9c/64/ce/9c64ce52941c0e57e7fcde23e1ebd101.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/9c/64/ce/9c64ce52941c0e57e7fcde23e1ebd101.jpg" width="248" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Even when it becomes hard and even when creating seems to
be the only thing that makes sense to us—even if we don’t understand what we
are bringing into the world—a lot of times it’s just a jumbled mass of limbs
and teeth until the last moment—this is who we are. When people ask what we do,
most think of our jobs. We have to process the question a second longer than
the scientist or teacher. We have to remember that we are “Insert career here”
first and artists second, and in some company, it’s best not to even mention
that you sing bars to yourself in the car or keep Post-its in your desk for
when no one is looking so you can jot down how to remedy that plot hole in
chapter seven. Here, we live in two worlds too. Creative and non. When we find
the people who understand us, we can be ourselves, but when we are at our day
jobs, waiting in line at the bank, taking the kids to school, or at a family
reunion, we are in the so-called “real world” where even though some people
make a living as artists, we never talk about it, so as to not encourage others
to do the same. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Why do we do this? So many people enjoy the products that
once only lived in a creative person’s mind. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Movies. Books. Newspapers. Clothes. Makeup. Food.
These were all created for different reasons, but at the core, there is only
one important one: to connect. Person to person. It seems simple, and because
of that, people in the “real world” think that anyone can do it, therefore, it
has no value. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">From a young age, I listened to a lot of things adults told
me that ended up being wrong, but this was one of the few I chose not to
believe. If they could do the things I was doing—create the worlds and people I
was creating—then why weren’t they?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.252079932.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.252079932.jpg" height="160" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The answer probably has many names: hunger, drive, power,
whatever. I call it need. I need to create. I need to let the strange thoughts
happen and I need to listen and write them down. I need to stay up until three
in the morning typing until I can’t find my fingers. I need to spend hours
thinking of the perfect way to word something into one sentence. If I don’t,
something is utterly and completely off balance. I feel like I left the house
with my shoes on the wrong feet or my shirt inside out. It’s acceptable, but
uncomfortable. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For some people, I guess it’s possible to get used to.
Maybe their feet form to the wrong shoes so that when they walk, they barely
notice. I have never been that way. It is so noticeable to me that I’m
surprised when other people don’t notice. People close to me sometimes do. They
ask what is wrong and sometimes I don’t know. It’s only when I finally get the
chance to sit down at my computer and connect with that side of me that I
realize what was off, what was missing or backwards. Truly, I never feel more
human than when I am creating different worlds—different lives. I’m not sure
where this comes from or how to stop it, but it’s always there at the back of
my mind, asking when the next chance it will have to be set free.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://40.media.tumblr.com/d92d34dccdc74b636dd466e8755c00bb/tumblr_mnogxw4iWz1rk5x5go1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://40.media.tumblr.com/d92d34dccdc74b636dd466e8755c00bb/tumblr_mnogxw4iWz1rk5x5go1_500.jpg" height="218" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m not really sure how to end this post, but I just wanted
to get some of my thoughts down. Maybe start a discussion of what this thing is
inside of us that makes us want to connect in such a way; what makes people see
our hands reaching out and grab hold. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Until next time, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">--Nikki </span></div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-53566338424117255052015-06-26T13:23:00.000-07:002015-06-26T13:23:25.478-07:00My Writing Process<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hi there! Long time no see. I've been a busy bee as usual, editing and writing, but sometimes I want to write things that aren't fictional, and I guess that's what a blog is for. I also just finish-finished a new book that I may or may not be querying (gasp!) when it's done being edited. So I guess this is a good time to write about what people have been asking for a while: My Writing Process. So here it is, in all its glory.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Idea Love</h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb4817cLZs1rt2dfxo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb4817cLZs1rt2dfxo1_500.gif" height="224" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
This is the first idea that comes to mind.
It could be something abstract like an image or word, but for me, it’s often
the first or last sentence of the book. Much like a reader falling in love with
a book, this is what draws me in and makes me want to learn more. Usually, the
initial idea happens when I’m finishing a completely different book and won’t
have time to go back to it for a while—sometimes YEARS. </div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> </span></span></h3>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2</span></span> The Simmering—or as I call it, The Cake Batter Stage</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://kultturystyka.blox.pl/resource/krem.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://kultturystyka.blox.pl/resource/krem.gif" height="224" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, that is Tubby Custard, bitches.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
This is the time that through no fault of
my own always ends up happening. I have this idea I’m super excited about, yet
either because I’m already busy writing/editing a book or don’t think I’m ready
to write down this new idea, I have to let it sit there and cook. Amanda Palmer
calls it the embryonic stage. I call it the cake batter stage. No matter how
you refer to it, this is the time where your idea has time to mature and gain
strength before all the grueling processes that lay ahead.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>ALL THE IDEA VOMIT</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://themoviejudge.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/i-feel-like-im-taking-crazy-pills.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://themoviejudge.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/i-feel-like-im-taking-crazy-pills.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
One idea leads to TONS of others for me.
They all relate to the same story, but unlike the original idea, these are more
solid—plot points, character traits, etc. I actually jot down some o this stuff
and save it for later. Oftentimes, I wake up late at night/early in the
morning/don’t sleep at all and when I look back at these notes, I barely understand
what I was trying to say.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Doing The Thing (Writing. A lot)</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://33.media.tumblr.com/237594da61fa28e4e5455ff4666d2dbb/tumblr_nl9d62Qr3k1so0ukuo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://33.media.tumblr.com/237594da61fa28e4e5455ff4666d2dbb/tumblr_nl9d62Qr3k1so0ukuo1_500.gif" height="179" width="320" /></a> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
This is the stage where I write pretty much
every spare moment I have. All of this cake batter is ready to go in the oven
and I spend the better part of a month or two dribbling it all into paper
baking cups. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. The important
thing here is to be as messy as possible and allowing myself to write the worst
thing possible. NO DELTEING ALLOWED. That comes later.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Take A Break</h3>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9o4e8nQW61rf5xc1o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9o4e8nQW61rf5xc1o1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I've watched Gilmore Girls from beginning to end three times.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
This is the first break I take during my
process. I find that when I stare at things too long, I end up questioning and
hating everything. It’s better to gain some distance, watch some Netflix, and
read </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
some books for a few weeks or so before even thinking about the piece
again.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Editing Round One</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://iruntheinternet.com/lulzdump/images/gifs/Adventure-time-stag-deer-hands-Freak-Deer-1378992899r.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://iruntheinternet.com/lulzdump/images/gifs/Adventure-time-stag-deer-hands-Freak-Deer-1378992899r.gif" height="221" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
So I’ve watched all of Goosebumps and
Gilmore Girls on Netflix. I’ve read lots of Neil Gaiman and have gotten over
how I will never be as awesome as him, and now I’m ready to look at the book
again. I go through, taking notes and trying to make it the best as I can. I
may not know some things like names of characters or places, so I either put in
a blank (___) or write out what I want (PUT NAME OF PLACE HERE, YOU FOOL). It’s
still sloppy at this point, but the cake is starting to taste good (have you
had enough of this analogy yet?).</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Workshop</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://fusiondotnet.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/tumblr_m7zdq9l54e1qzizmho1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://fusiondotnet.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/tumblr_m7zdq9l54e1qzizmho1_400.gif" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
I’m so lucky to have the best group of
workshopping partners in the world. I send them chunks of my book in sections,
they suggest how I should make it better, and I have a bunch of ner perspective
on all the stuff I wrote!</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Editing Round Two</h3>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i1187.photobucket.com/albums/z393/KristineChavezRodriguez/writing.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i1187.photobucket.com/albums/z393/KristineChavezRodriguez/writing.gif" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
This is the second round. Ding Ding Ding!
During this part, I take all the notes and suggestions from my workshop buddies
and go through and edit the manuscript again. Pretty self explanatory.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Hate The Book</h3>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://33.media.tumblr.com/4d59ea4b15c2e128c53aee94e696c8e3/tumblr_mio4lpXmRM1s64twro1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://33.media.tumblr.com/4d59ea4b15c2e128c53aee94e696c8e3/tumblr_mio4lpXmRM1s64twro1_500.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
There is no exact time where I reach this
stage, but it always comes somewhere between the first and last edit. I start
to hate every line, all the characters, and I start asking myself who I think I
am, writing a book like some type of writer or some shit. This is where I start
procrastinating and everything in my house is miraculously clean and organized.
I may also pick up new hobbies like baking or scrapbooking to avoid the
manuscript. I wish I was kidding.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Print The Book</h3>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/ec1481a3afd9025f2f6f557e5693f5fa/tumblr_n2negdXYsV1t068lao1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/ec1481a3afd9025f2f6f557e5693f5fa/tumblr_n2negdXYsV1t068lao1_400.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
I love Word’s comments and track changes
tool, but for me, there is nothing like editing my own work on paper. I’m
better able to see what I’m doing, can write myself detailed notes in the
margins, and I can flip back and forth more easily. I don’t do any of this
however until I first…</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">11.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Take Another Break</h3>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7dnfr20C91r7922zo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="170" src="https://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7dnfr20C91r7922zo1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
That’s right. It might seem a little
excessive, but I need that second break between second and third edits. I need
to get out of my own head and DO things for at least a month before looking at
it again.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">12.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Send To People</h3>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://33.media.tumblr.com/265968e44c47c56c3a5bc0e100e8b604/tumblr_nf74b9V2MG1svxaato1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://33.media.tumblr.com/265968e44c47c56c3a5bc0e100e8b604/tumblr_nf74b9V2MG1svxaato1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
This is where during my time of
binge-watching The X-files and reading everything I put off while I was writing,
my first writer-friend takes a look at my work. I’ll also send it to my editor
during this time so when I get the notes and suggestions back from both of
them, I can flip through my own notes and compare them. Essentially, when I go
in for the next round of edits, I have at least three peoples’ opinions to work
with.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">13.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Breathe</h3>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/512946ba93ba87bb1bcd035ea5f0bfae/tumblr_n89ad33Kvk1tfgm50o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/512946ba93ba87bb1bcd035ea5f0bfae/tumblr_n89ad33Kvk1tfgm50o1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
This is where I’m slowly coming out of my
hating the manuscript stage and heading back into love, but I don’t dive head
first. There are strangers reading it and it is no longer just mine. It can be
a little nerve wracking and this is probably the stage (except #16) that makes
me the most nervous. It’s important to take a step back and realize that I’m
doing it. This is happening and it’s going to be okay.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">14.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Fall In Love Again</h3>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/e9fb4b65b57bdc1bb7db5ead11edf1a4/tumblr_mikz81J84H1s18heeo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/e9fb4b65b57bdc1bb7db5ead11edf1a4/tumblr_mikz81J84H1s18heeo1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
I get my notes back and I have finished my
first critical read through of the book. I see what works and what doesn’t, and
finally, the pieces are all starting to fit together and look like an actual
novel with a point. I fall back in love with the characters and their story.
I’m renewed and ready for phase 15.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">15.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Editing Round Three</h3>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/9998b8afef201cae27f74fd538e54dcf/tumblr_mxrdfb053V1sc1kfto1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/9998b8afef201cae27f74fd538e54dcf/tumblr_mxrdfb053V1sc1kfto1_400.gif" /></a></div>
</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
That’s right. It’s round three. I get rid
of anything that looks like poop and make sure things make sense. Usually, the
only thing left after this are very small and are often caught by…</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">16.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Beta Readers</h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/a8fa92f9bd946c9d0beacd84dece6b56/tumblr_mwvm0vrtpi1t2ovyso1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/a8fa92f9bd946c9d0beacd84dece6b56/tumblr_mwvm0vrtpi1t2ovyso1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me ten seconds after I send out a book. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br />
This is different than my workshop buddies,
writer friends, and editor reading the book because these are readers, first
and foremost. This is the audience that represents who will be buying my book
and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>most of the time, their opinion
means the most because it’s kind of like a test run with a crash dummy in the
seat (sorry for yet another awful analogy. It’s late). If the airbag needs to
deploy, it’s not on someone who paid five dollars for the book and will get
angry and write a bad review when they find the slightest mistake. Beta readers
are super important because they’re honest about the overall story and plot,
and they’re the last gatekeeper you need to pass before you’re seeing that
light at the end of the tunnel.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<h3>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">17.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Editing Round Four</h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/65a90d6edaf70028ba368a7d6ee65305/tumblr_mh1zqmcLk01qh01r8o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/65a90d6edaf70028ba368a7d6ee65305/tumblr_mh1zqmcLk01qh01r8o1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<h3>
</h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
This is the final read through. This is the
final countdown. I’m getting ready for promotion, the cover, and release and
now I have the opinions of test readers. Usually this last one goes by fast
because there are a few easy things to fix and then I’m done. I can see it
being a book and other people eventually reading it. I also send out review
copies or ARCs to reviewers and readers once this is done, which is super
exciting and nerve wracking.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<h3>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">18.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Breathe, Damn It</h3>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/3f52e72cfccbd0b507661d61b63a9ac0/tumblr_mvpaej2hFI1rzwuc0o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/3f52e72cfccbd0b507661d61b63a9ac0/tumblr_mvpaej2hFI1rzwuc0o1_500.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, that is a happy potato. Dancing.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
I let all the review copies be read, format
the book, and upload it for preorder. This is the time where I’m at the top of
the roller coaster and waiting for it to drop. It’s hard to not be stressed out,
but it’s also hard to not be happy. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<h3>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">19.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Done!</h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i207.photobucket.com/albums/bb124/keepmesecret/Macros/Sitcoms/ambitousliz.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i207.photobucket.com/albums/bb124/keepmesecret/Macros/Sitcoms/ambitousliz.gif" height="206" width="400" /></a></div>
<h3>
</h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
The book comes out and hopefully readers like
it as much as I do in the end. Then I’m on to the next book, starting the
process all over again.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
Thanks for reading. If there are any topics you'd like me to write about in the future, leave a comment below or join the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1608190742758480/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>facebook group</b></span></a> and post something!<br />
-Nikki </div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-11527024821495581532015-04-04T09:19:00.001-07:002015-04-04T09:19:21.697-07:00Super Duper Update Post--Away!!!It has definitely been a while since I've posted on here, but for good reason!<br />
I have been a busy, busy bee. Here are all the things going on. Stay tuned, you might want to hear about some of it if you like books!<br />
<br />
1. As some of you may know, I'm the head editor at <a href="http://metamorphosiseditingservices.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Metamorphosis Editing Services</span></a> and we have been SLAMMED with clients, so I have been filling my days becoming part of other writers' processes. It's been rewarding and fun and awesome! So awesome that in January, I was able to quit my part time job and concentrate on it full time. If you are or know of anyone needing an editor, beta reader, or proofreader, email us fast! The rate is going to change (only slightly, I still want to make it cheap for us writers--we're not made of money) in a month or two--I'm starting to save for a house!<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm also a part-time editor at Booktrope, and I've had the pleasure of proofreading books by the lovey <a href="https://www.facebook.com/jcahannigan?fref=ts" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">J.C. Hannigan</span></a>. You need to get her books. I feel like if we knew each other in real life, we'd be best friends. lol.<br />
And I've just started Forbidden Darkness by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/alecbellefanpage?fref=ts" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Alec John Belle</span></a>. It's amazing.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMM6eSTmAAhckzN1u9A6eswYwnYxeoeE5XmR_Yf9M8xBhuE2KK14OLs7DW-KzjVqdN9uUrOuEDrpBF5q-sgpqGbIubtHWwI6nw9Okfe_HBXA1cWeRbMp02QY8IUo-oqlVIY0u9t6XO1w4o/s1600/10897971_942650872413394_7532637831478243103_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMM6eSTmAAhckzN1u9A6eswYwnYxeoeE5XmR_Yf9M8xBhuE2KK14OLs7DW-KzjVqdN9uUrOuEDrpBF5q-sgpqGbIubtHWwI6nw9Okfe_HBXA1cWeRbMp02QY8IUo-oqlVIY0u9t6XO1w4o/s1600/10897971_942650872413394_7532637831478243103_n.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
2. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Animal-Nikki-Rae-ebook/dp/B00TYUGM5E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1428155597&sr=8-1&keywords=nikki+rae" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Animal</span></a> was released and just yesterday, the <a href="https://www.createspace.com/4770884" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">paperbacks</span></a> came out! It hit the bestseller's list on the FIRST DAY it was out. Thank you. : )<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4JXivrTz8A5orC3xkJ5oa4WH1kq4kK7C10AZk3QfMsAHLlNcKvJDSuYjOeHhtha_1wna62Ebh9p2di0KrsnxM9pXLpbGklBbwK3Rr2XplSx616bh6hN_MA76EBv8vZNafKoLTJ0G7eeLL/s1600/animal+paperback.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4JXivrTz8A5orC3xkJ5oa4WH1kq4kK7C10AZk3QfMsAHLlNcKvJDSuYjOeHhtha_1wna62Ebh9p2di0KrsnxM9pXLpbGklBbwK3Rr2XplSx616bh6hN_MA76EBv8vZNafKoLTJ0G7eeLL/s1600/animal+paperback.png" height="378" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look at this beautiful, big baby!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
3. The Sunshine Series is FINALLY being put together into one massive volume and will be out on April 30th! There's going to be a TON of extras (poetry, interviews, Q&A, a sneak peek of Animal, etc) in there and currently the ebook sits at over 500 pages! I don't have a cover yet, but I'm working on it. If you want to see it as soon as it is released and if you want a chance to win some cool prizes, you should totally come to the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/808082995906551/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Facebook party!</span></a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2jxKiie3lqnNul-KddINClasxAm7vIkM6pNFxovXJoijMCRBJvxGe-A3PCsJZNniOIgJQBVgpAvPiiwNFqTXrEPwBK9lZdJ9vTMllNZOMIHsI3Zb1OmuTJJVJDXkMP_-6WKba3MswzKAF/s1600/10422267_10203602974545587_8890367911391164137_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2jxKiie3lqnNul-KddINClasxAm7vIkM6pNFxovXJoijMCRBJvxGe-A3PCsJZNniOIgJQBVgpAvPiiwNFqTXrEPwBK9lZdJ9vTMllNZOMIHsI3Zb1OmuTJJVJDXkMP_-6WKba3MswzKAF/s1600/10422267_10203602974545587_8890367911391164137_n.jpg" height="400" width="266" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
4. I will be at the Yo, Philly Author event on May 16 from 10am-5pm! If you live nearby, come see me and over 60 other authors and their books! Tickets are FREE. Buy them <a href="http://www.eventbee.com/v/yophillyauthorevent" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">HERE!</span></a><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivBk7GeXjagvUkSk_fHInB2FgO0qCflK97sYsZ32jpgjmKueXKdb4Y0P7qCT3OmnZcAnM5E70kjqWE464W7LfcARzTm-4fBkRqyx0WgBfzZlwgYkPAwpriVGAF4SLCMvzWxIK5BuigSlJ9/s1600/11126370_1556797634590619_2980645539557501846_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivBk7GeXjagvUkSk_fHInB2FgO0qCflK97sYsZ32jpgjmKueXKdb4Y0P7qCT3OmnZcAnM5E70kjqWE464W7LfcARzTm-4fBkRqyx0WgBfzZlwgYkPAwpriVGAF4SLCMvzWxIK5BuigSlJ9/s1600/11126370_1556797634590619_2980645539557501846_o.jpg" height="235" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spot my name!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
5. Speaking of book signings, I'm actively seeking more out and I may be doing more this year, so keep your eyes peeled! Follow me on <a href="https://twitter.com/NikkiRaexX" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Twitter</span></a> and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nikki-Rae/394844663902407?ref=hl" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Facebook</span></a> if you want to keep up.<br />
<br />
<br />
6. And speaking of signed things, you can now purchase SIGNED SWAG AND BOOKS directly from me! So many people have asked, and I've been trying to figure out a way to make it happen. Right now I'm utilizing Google Forms. If you want something, fill out the form(s) and I'll send it to you! Check out the links up top!<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #548dd4; font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 153;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://ygladies.com/access/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/130501-cl-instagram-spongebob.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://ygladies.com/access/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/130501-cl-instagram-spongebob.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Literal picture of me on a good day.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
7. I have a new book schedule. Right now, I'm working on two books that I absolutely need to finish: one for self publishing, and one that I will hopefully be pitching to agents. I haven't done that in over 10 years, so hopefully I've learned a few things since then and hopefully I don't chicken out.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
If you're wondering what books they are, you voted for them and they were the two most popular. That's all I'm gonna say. ; )</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9010sXDqf1qdhag9o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9010sXDqf1qdhag9o1_500.gif" height="192" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
8. And here comes the BIG news!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Some of you may have noticed that you can't find The Donor on Amazon anymore. That's because I took it down. I had to take it down because it got PICKED UP BY A PUBLISHER. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://media.giphy.com/media/ZIcOEgfPoRoe4/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://media.giphy.com/media/ZIcOEgfPoRoe4/giphy.gif" height="282" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I am happy to announce that I am one of the newest members of the <a href="http://www.vamptasy.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Vamptasy Publishing Family</span></a>, an Imprint of Crushing Hearts and Black Butterfly Publishing. It's all very new (just signed the contract last week) and strange having people to help when I've done it all by myself since the beginning, but I'm excited to see where this goes! I'm going to be updating on Facebook and Twitter when the new cover will be revealed and when the story will be re-released, so look for it!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And that's it so far. I know I always say I'm going to blog more, but I just don't. lol. Hopefully all this awesome news makes up for it! I just wanted to thank you all--readers, friends, other writers, and everyone I know in general. This year has been a lot more easy and a lot more rewarding than last year. I can't wait to see what happens next!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://image.blingee.com/images19/content/output/000/000/000/7a6/783400880_1387856.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://image.blingee.com/images19/content/output/000/000/000/7a6/783400880_1387856.gif" height="400" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry. I had to.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-34929928369360010112014-12-29T13:58:00.002-08:002014-12-29T14:21:38.976-08:00My year in books and YOU get to help me pick the next one I write!<div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-99c11dbd-97d6-a526-cedc-689d7136d603" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It has very quickly become that time of year again where it is simultaneously a period of reflection and moving forward. This year started out rocky and uncertain to say the absolute least, but even I was surprised at how quickly I bounced back, learned, and asked for help. And that was just in my personal life. If you’ve been following me anywhere, you know exactly what most of these things are.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-99c11dbd-97d6-a526-cedc-689d7136d603" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-99c11dbd-97d6-a526-cedc-689d7136d603" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I’m not gonna write a post looking back at my whole year because...bleh. No. Don’t wanna. But this is what I am going to do: I’m going to recap my year in the books I wrote and then there’s going to be some reader participation as to what books I’m going to write <b>next</b> year. I did this <a href="http://nikkixrae.blogspot.com/2013/12/i-need-your-help-picking-new-story-or.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">once before</span></a> and it worked out super awesomely, so stay tuned till the end. Or, you know, just scroll past the boring stuff.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-_QxQ1Nw87GSLwwS6POBWgXBGJiFtaaQEjkHMDUPOTQdmyd_RoahlcNzxu06XqXkTflii8fVoX8zGHybTaMPBJyd2Gk__1B3Fn_4CnsFIrFIQh38Xaw_rQHMj3LVnpfjtMCfPmBYxUXFu/s1600/Sun+Damage_ebooklg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-_QxQ1Nw87GSLwwS6POBWgXBGJiFtaaQEjkHMDUPOTQdmyd_RoahlcNzxu06XqXkTflii8fVoX8zGHybTaMPBJyd2Gk__1B3Fn_4CnsFIrFIQh38Xaw_rQHMj3LVnpfjtMCfPmBYxUXFu/s1600/Sun+Damage_ebooklg.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The first thing I did starting in March was finish <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Sunshine-Series/125028937642434?ref=hl" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">The Sunshine Series</span></a>. I had originally planned on having <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sun-Damage-Sunshine-Book-3-ebook/dp/B00JAFWAQS/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1419885397&sr=8-4&keywords=nikki+rae" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Sun Damage</span></a> out in January of that year, but last January was awful for more than one reason and it just didn’t happen. This is the first ever series I have written and it was the first group of characters I really got to know, so it was really sad saying goodbye. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Some people truly got the ending and others were angry with it (and weren’t afraid to voice their opinions) but there isn’t a single thing I would change. This series was my baby for so long and now it’s off in the world doing big-book things. I’m proud.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Then I took a break. I was so drained from the personal stuff, graduating school, and all that that I just fried my brain whenever I tried to start something new. In the meantime, I read. I workshopped, I dug out old stories and worked on them, and then I stumbled into <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Donor-Full-Novella-Nikki-Rae-ebook/dp/B00O92PDDO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1419887002&sr=8-2&keywords=nikki+rae" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">The Donor</span></a>.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRQfDzp7I55_bDatBhCdhrOy54wDsgizl8iPielZOgcIlt3UTseBuoyZVMnXJkwlyk88gYW9dZBCu4ma7LXVhir7wycUqYCuNwXE-lHZpI9MHRA0ZgEyzgk7ApAklp6EExdaZ0bSSt-4_S/s1600/Full+Donor+Novella+Cover+Final.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRQfDzp7I55_bDatBhCdhrOy54wDsgizl8iPielZOgcIlt3UTseBuoyZVMnXJkwlyk88gYW9dZBCu4ma7LXVhir7wycUqYCuNwXE-lHZpI9MHRA0ZgEyzgk7ApAklp6EExdaZ0bSSt-4_S/s1600/Full+Donor+Novella+Cover+Final.png" height="320" width="212" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Originally, I wrote The Donor as three separate parts (One, Two, and Three). The first was released in July, the second in August, and the third in September. I had never released things so close together or under such strict time constraints, but I wanted to challenge myself after such a long break. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Boy howdy was it a good idea. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Not only did Part One make it onto more than three Bestseller Lists (yay!) but it actually hit number one when it was free for a weekend. Thus, the second thing I had written became an Amazon Bestseller (is this real life?).</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">In October, I decided to put all three parts together and sell it as one. You can still get the first part on Amazon as an ebook for real cheap, but if you want to read more than that, you have to get the whole thing. Which is a good idea because it has an afterword from me about the process of writing this book. The Donor is the most challenging thing I have written to date and though it’s small, I am most proud of it.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtwbWe68w5hjevxJKjvxlxIzjCzqv2jbtEMGckTZFRzbQGhuw6_n0RpamsDX09r77OcT-YoNUVUYAil-o9y9dJrnPEOWbEG4WskLEr8Bo0Owugvk-2G_otgjonxwNv1j0X5qS2JEz6qg5O/s1600/Part+Three+ecover+final.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtwbWe68w5hjevxJKjvxlxIzjCzqv2jbtEMGckTZFRzbQGhuw6_n0RpamsDX09r77OcT-YoNUVUYAil-o9y9dJrnPEOWbEG4WskLEr8Bo0Owugvk-2G_otgjonxwNv1j0X5qS2JEz6qg5O/s1600/Part+Three+ecover+final.png" height="320" width="206" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">And...that’s it. Unlike most indie authors who can crank out books every month or so, I write longer fiction and take a LOT of time editing and revising (at least a month). I had planned to have my latest release, Animal come out by the end of December, but now it’s set for the end of February. Such is life.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Which brings me to the meat of this sandwich. </span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">In the new year, in addition to working on my editing company, finding that elusive “real” job, blogging more, using my youtube channel more, and promoting, I am going to be writing a LOT more. I have no shortage of ideas, inspiration, or motivation when it comes to writing, but sometimes that’s the problem. I don’t know where to start. </span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">So here’s where you come in.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Below are a few ideas. Some are old and some are new, some I have written half of the book and some I only have a sentence. None of them have any real names yet, of course. But it is up to you to help me decide what to put out into the universe next. </span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Of course, some things may change. Some I plan to query agents with, some I plan to directly publish myself, maybe I’ll start writing one idea and it will form into another, but regardless, I want to include you all in the process more. Afterall, I can’t be an author if no one’s reading, so why not put the choice of what to read next directly into your hands?</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Without further ado, here are your choices. Vote for the one(s) you want to see most and I’ll tally them all up in about a month. After a wee bit of a vacation in February, I’ll start with whatever gets the most votes. : )</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Happy Holidays and Happy Reading.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
1. The Poetry Collection</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdrIrlEB2RbGO67wks1uYr6PIBGcqwzzmM7MUQObqZk1GeWsJFPaSuN7HNxaNgHf8DMI24GqNhCiVyV90SM_RdOBrYX1lxtLsWzaFdhfD73NfvTo1Fr1_65ph3JiAWLttkCnN5yLRTT_eg/s1600/SeparateLives_72dpi1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdrIrlEB2RbGO67wks1uYr6PIBGcqwzzmM7MUQObqZk1GeWsJFPaSuN7HNxaNgHf8DMI24GqNhCiVyV90SM_RdOBrYX1lxtLsWzaFdhfD73NfvTo1Fr1_65ph3JiAWLttkCnN5yLRTT_eg/s1600/SeparateLives_72dpi1.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If you want to read examples of my poetry, go <a href="http://nikkixrae.blogspot.com/p/the-stories.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">HERE</span></a>. Some of these will be included in the poetry collection of at least 100 poems, along with plenty of unreleased poems and prose. It's going to be mainly dark, personal, and even creepy, but there are one or two hopeful pieces in here as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
2. Human</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9uRh3mJTWYSr4dA8cWMO0b0tPORM5q12W3Kn_ZRt7GFhp4GRejpCXsKOpbswudlrNPS4dYYN5Lky2ZwHCVTlnWKZ6RdhfWcL9ebZcuebVOfUfD6Qx5kOkgE4WCIHxoHXlmH387CYIp7iw/s1600/water+and+neck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9uRh3mJTWYSr4dA8cWMO0b0tPORM5q12W3Kn_ZRt7GFhp4GRejpCXsKOpbswudlrNPS4dYYN5Lky2ZwHCVTlnWKZ6RdhfWcL9ebZcuebVOfUfD6Qx5kOkgE4WCIHxoHXlmH387CYIp7iw/s1600/water+and+neck.jpg" height="200" width="146" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's probably going to be hard to pick this one since <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21893582-animal" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Animal</span></a> isn't even out yet, but this is going to be the sort of sequel to that book. Like Animal, it would be able to be read by itself or along with Animal and The Sunshine Series. Rather than focusing on the main character that was in Animal, this will be told from Michael's perspective after he is forced to become human after living such a violent life for so long. He goes through his past and present, trying to make sense of it. Myles and Evan also appear, and if it works...Sophie and Ava. : )</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
3. The Alien Story</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEislS3knSldA0BpfLX_FFZ85o3SeMlQVlT23c09eJUYLaNHZTMN3659G1B2RrtHOcjVUbt8KllKQniYQOhmItEoj4sViuHChK06xRot2hXHHCSQSSeRB_8PVEdKWmz86sMk-B79DhdfsERS/s1600/albino+model.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEislS3knSldA0BpfLX_FFZ85o3SeMlQVlT23c09eJUYLaNHZTMN3659G1B2RrtHOcjVUbt8KllKQniYQOhmItEoj4sViuHChK06xRot2hXHHCSQSSeRB_8PVEdKWmz86sMk-B79DhdfsERS/s1600/albino+model.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
This is an idea I've been toying with FOREVER. There will be mermaids and aliens, abductions, sexiness, darkness, and since I'm terrified of aliens, probably a health dose of creepiness and scary parts. I'm still in the brainstorming stages for this one so I can't really tell you much else about it.</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
4. The Box</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk-Ga6g-QX2pe2sQ5PIL3Gc1AHM1o38UZ7_LcAtJsTH1cDtlbChC3ifw1jZ9CFxyLCLePVRO-cMJncVzTdvuK0ufNVHEhK_GBK87MFGRTpGzCp8Au5CSW8BVsZcv-vOegcvXkiE6kq-rs5/s1600/feather+chest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk-Ga6g-QX2pe2sQ5PIL3Gc1AHM1o38UZ7_LcAtJsTH1cDtlbChC3ifw1jZ9CFxyLCLePVRO-cMJncVzTdvuK0ufNVHEhK_GBK87MFGRTpGzCp8Au5CSW8BVsZcv-vOegcvXkiE6kq-rs5/s1600/feather+chest.jpg" height="320" width="220" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is my first entry into the more "adult" side of New Adult. There's a painter girl and a mysterious figure that haunts her dreams and seeps into her reality. Is she crazy? Is it real? There's also going to be some illustrations done by me if I can figure out how to do it and a style that works. If you remember the last time I made a poll like this, The Box was on there. I wrote a good chunk of it during NaNoWriMo and I must say, it is very sexy and very mysterious, even to me.</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
5.The Donor (Jonah's Story)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-BAuegh2yJdSrAbkD6A5pVSCdJljU7kub1C_GsekDIIcVBOzGwWCFRTuQd-8YoXkWXDPq0q9-mIe9410tfek4EKZypUwuzb8o6cL9RJCYNboCsP7aeJXZNgWL4D5BDy-OUXRWummQvIYW/s1600/tumblr_mp4qjm9QiW1sxj2nxo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-BAuegh2yJdSrAbkD6A5pVSCdJljU7kub1C_GsekDIIcVBOzGwWCFRTuQd-8YoXkWXDPq0q9-mIe9410tfek4EKZypUwuzb8o6cL9RJCYNboCsP7aeJXZNgWL4D5BDy-OUXRWummQvIYW/s1600/tumblr_mp4qjm9QiW1sxj2nxo1_500.jpg" height="320" width="211" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not much of a description needed here. It's going to pick up where part 3 of The Donor left off and will continue Casey and Jonah's story from Jonah's perspective. I literally only have a paragraph of this one, but it will be told in much the same way the first three parts were and I think it might be even darker and emotional than the first section. Just a guess.</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
6. The Android Story </div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo-1dDcTtModPYjppBPm9T6e7DvJncsPAf8ViDB6HyzW3fvESg1qPPRTI-MYLzbBBVGtAAJTXMp-SO_fL5A0UJ08b8yJ4Dw7DjJD2mzN-Yscc56sF0WmMpq7Sga1upWkukL1JsLC727KQY/s1600/blue+lined+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo-1dDcTtModPYjppBPm9T6e7DvJncsPAf8ViDB6HyzW3fvESg1qPPRTI-MYLzbBBVGtAAJTXMp-SO_fL5A0UJ08b8yJ4Dw7DjJD2mzN-Yscc56sF0WmMpq7Sga1upWkukL1JsLC727KQY/s1600/blue+lined+face.jpg" height="200" width="158" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Again, this one was on the <a href="http://nikkixrae.blogspot.com/2013/12/i-need-your-help-picking-new-story-or.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">last poll I did</span></a>. It's revamped and redone, but the main idea is still intact. A woman wakes up in a hospital with no memory of who she is or what's happened. Another woman wakes up on a train with the same problem. Which one is real and which one is a machine? This is the one I want to try to traditionally publish. At the very least, send it to a few small presses. So depending on the response, it may be a while before you see it if it wins, but I thought I'd include it anyway.</div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
7. The Complete Sunshine Series with bonus material</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzih7QATrt5XQV80OvfLOtm-Kg2WfJJUzw1u6dLIYq5Akf4hjV0N-6-9QFxdMiYmX0cB5ZkO9llW7manJJg3egQb_umKP-s8Wg2ZV7xws5ffDjRRFb5WSgkqwaue6m6lHJkE_tNgyomQJy/s1600/practice+sunshine+cover+for+all+books.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzih7QATrt5XQV80OvfLOtm-Kg2WfJJUzw1u6dLIYq5Akf4hjV0N-6-9QFxdMiYmX0cB5ZkO9llW7manJJg3egQb_umKP-s8Wg2ZV7xws5ffDjRRFb5WSgkqwaue6m6lHJkE_tNgyomQJy/s1600/practice+sunshine+cover+for+all+books.jpg" height="320" width="203" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not actual cover. Just playing around.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is going to be a deluxe version of all three books into one neat, little package. At the end, there's going to be Sophie's Notebook, which are poems and ramblings from her secret notebook that she never shows anyone. There will also be a Q and A and maybe some character interviews and deleted scenes. : )</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
8. The Short Story Collection</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWTTXVUG5l_tP9GtqinUX8yAbSXYqO-eXRrnRM4lk9uYiRfHMCQzFHtp1Qnq70oZFjO_0XEilc_XCgwLp8AxZBYP_tminm1UGIaYbLbe06YpvhtEJlQF6j8uS7Dw5DbrkgH40ORRab9Ubx/s1600/viloin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWTTXVUG5l_tP9GtqinUX8yAbSXYqO-eXRrnRM4lk9uYiRfHMCQzFHtp1Qnq70oZFjO_0XEilc_XCgwLp8AxZBYP_tminm1UGIaYbLbe06YpvhtEJlQF6j8uS7Dw5DbrkgH40ORRab9Ubx/s1600/viloin.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
This will probably be the most challenging thing I want to work on. Mainly because everything I write is so LONG. But I do have a good chunk of short stories already written and a good chunk of ideas for more, so I figured I'd give it a try. There's one about a bird-man, there's one about running over a dog, a zombie, and a storm. <a href="http://nikkixrae.blogspot.com/p/the-stories.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Some have appeared on the blog before</span></a> and some haven't even been born yet.</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
9. The Dark Contemporary Story</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggfERxscDeCGFnsICL6EEVLJzcV9pf21curz2k9rp8n9KJlRk01LxKVS44yl7CrNlBNdBpG9mXcCqNF75RfMgJbKhtyeVFRWr-5E67DmrM7WmTQZizqV1F9-Dv_YUkzuMj8LM-aX18KA8b/s1600/chok.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggfERxscDeCGFnsICL6EEVLJzcV9pf21curz2k9rp8n9KJlRk01LxKVS44yl7CrNlBNdBpG9mXcCqNF75RfMgJbKhtyeVFRWr-5E67DmrM7WmTQZizqV1F9-Dv_YUkzuMj8LM-aX18KA8b/s1600/chok.jpg" height="200" width="168" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
This actually started out as a joke. I mean, I started writing it for a ghost writing position that never paid me so they never got the partial manuscript. It was very freeing, writing something I thought would never be attached to my name. But the more I wrote, the more I liked the characters (damn characters!) so I decided to work on it more and maybe publish it. It's the most adult fiction I have and there are definitely scenes not meant for younger readers and even leaning on the erotica side, but I want to have all of my branches in all of the genres, so why not?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Phew. That was a lot. Now's the hard part. Cast your vote below!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<form action="http://poll.pollcode.com/15177569" method="post">
<div style="background-color: #eeeeee; box-shadow: 0px 0px 5px #888; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; padding: 2px; width: 175px;">
<div style="padding: 2px 0px 4px 2px;">
<b>What book by Nikki Rae do you want to see next?</b></div>
<div align="center" style="padding-bottom: 5px;">
<select name="answer"><option value="1">The Poetry Collection</option><option value="2">Human </option><option value="3">The Alien Story</option><option value="4">The Box</option><option value="5">The Donor (Jonah's Story)</option><option value="6">The Android Story</option><option value="7">The Complete Sunshine Series</option><option value="8">The Short Story Collection</option><option value="9">The Dark Contemporary Romance</option></select></div>
<div align="center" style="padding: 3px;">
<input type="submit" value=" Vote " /> <input name="view" type="submit" value=" View " /></div>
<div align="right" style="font-size: 10px;">
pollcode.com <a href="http://pollcode.com/">free polls</a></div>
</div>
</form>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-17712793293116566502014-11-14T00:00:00.000-08:002014-11-14T00:00:05.280-08:00What it's like to be with the same person for nine years<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ2i988vpqt8XezHhr5RDh8ktjgJFmqRvg1-pLg-mSHAwpjxoCl" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ2i988vpqt8XezHhr5RDh8ktjgJFmqRvg1-pLg-mSHAwpjxoCl" width="400" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I never realize just how long I’ve been with my boyfriend until we’re in social situations, mostly with new people, who ask, “How long have you two been together?” Or when someone says something like, “Well, we’ve been together about a year and a half--nowhere </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>near </i></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">as long as you guys…”</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-9a7c6556-ac4b-2670-55fd-af2db8f306f6" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The truth is, I don’t really think about it. Al is one of the biggest parts of my life, yet I never really sit down and think that nine years is a long time. To me, it isn’t. It’s not long at all.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But here we are, thinking about it. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Nine years ago, this is what my life was like:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I had just gotten over the death of my step-dad and a round of self-destructive and not-healthy behavior.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I didn’t want to be in any type of relationship. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">All I wanted was to finish high school, go to college, and move far, far away.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then my junior years rolls around and there he is.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">--But let’s back up a little--</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rewind to three years or so before I met Al. My sister was dating a kid who invited us to a Halloween party at his youth group. I think I was like, 15? 16? Anyway, I was the only one who dressed like a “scary” thing so everyone was staring at me in the middle of the church basement and I immediately wanted to go home. But one of the stares seemed different than the others.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Boom. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There was a guy dressed in black and tripp pants sitting in one of the folding metal chairs, not talking to anyone. He had also dressed kind of scary. I didn’t know what it was about him, but I wanted to talk to him. I didn’t, of course.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then I started high school. I had to take the bus because I didn’t have a car or a license or a friend with any of these things either. I looked out the window because something just told me to.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Boom.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He was standing outside of school, waiting for someone, the sun shining on his dark hair. He was wearing a sweatshirt and light colored jeans. His hair blew into his face every so often, which he was quick to flip away. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was the same guy from the church basement.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t know this at the time, of course, and the window was too thick, too much of a barrier between us, so again, I said nothing.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The way we actually did finally meet is kind of hazy. Like I couldn’t believe it was happening and so I just didn’t pay too close attention to it. But he had a friend that we were both friends with, and we would kind of play a game of telephone between her, both of us too shy and socially awkward to do anything else.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We got to Iming and Myspace messaging next.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was weird, we lived so close to each other, yet we decided that putting computers between us was better to get to know each other. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One day, in the hall, he actually said hi to me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I remember that day because I was having an extremely bad morning, and then he comes out of nowhere and talks to me</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i> in person</i></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. I didn’t know what to do, so I think I just smiled and maybe mumbled a “hey”. I don’t remember that either.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I do remember that day in the gym locker room I put my pants on backwards because I was thinking about him.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://33.media.tumblr.com/ebe0a199cade975cd71a38c3d3c6b8a4/tumblr_neyf6vY2jI1r5uodbo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://33.media.tumblr.com/ebe0a199cade975cd71a38c3d3c6b8a4/tumblr_neyf6vY2jI1r5uodbo1_500.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I do remember that after that day, he waited for me outside of my first class and we walked through the hall together before we had to part ways at our lockers. Always silent, always awkward, yet somehow, okay with it. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On one of these days, he hugged me. I forget why, but it happened. And as he let go, he asked me something that I didn’t hear. I asked him to repeat it, and he said, rather nervously, “Will you go out with me?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and I did.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We walked through the hall like always, quiet as ever. He was staring at me a lot so i asked, “What are you looking at?” to which he replied, “Nothing”, even more nervously. (This is a story he swears he will tell at our wedding one day. I’ll never live it down).</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Later (like, two years later), he would tell me that he was staring because he couldn’t believe I had said yes. And I would tell him I asked the question because I was afraid he was regretting his decision and didn’t want to talk to me so I wanted to break the silence.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">How much did this whole process take? Three months.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It seemed like a week to me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then what happened after that?</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Life happened, for sure.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My first cat died, he helped me move (twice, I think), he waited patiently on the phone while things at my house were crazy and I was waiting for a quiet moment, but didn’t want to hang up, afraid to lose my life line. I published my first book, I started college, I published MORE books, my nana died, I moved in with my dad, I moved out of his house a week later, my best friend had two kids, my other cat died, the hurricane happened, my dad died, I went on medication, I graduated college. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Life happened. Lots of life.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And it’s only when I look back at a specific memory that I realize that for a lot of the hard times, Al was there, either in the background, waiting to be called in, or right there with me, holding me up when I couldn’t stand anymore.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That’s what’s important to me. Not how long we’ve been together, but how MUCH.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t mean this in time spent per day together; I mean, when you look at the person you call your significant other, do you see someone that you want to see you fall when you’re walking into a convenience store and although they laugh, they don’t think any less of you? Are you prepared for them to see you at your absolute worst? I’m not talking about waking up with no makeup on. I’m talking about being so upset that you can’t even look at yourself because you’re afraid you won’t look the same in the mirror. When you’re so broken that you don’t think you can ever be put back together? When you cry and have snot shooting out of your nose and running down your face and all they do is hold you and let you rub it into their shirt. When you think that one Disney movie is really dumb but the one scene makes you sad regardless because it reminds you of when you were a kid and even though they’ve heard you tell this story a million times, they let you tell them again without interrupting.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/ebb9aca6a6e7e553006709b9c2ce04bb/tumblr_nesswjSThP1qmkli8o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="345" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/ebb9aca6a6e7e553006709b9c2ce04bb/tumblr_nesswjSThP1qmkli8o1_500.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That’s what I mean.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Love is not some pretty thing covered in white lace. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Not for me, at least. And I wouldn’t want it that way. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Love is being secure, knowing that there is at least one person in this fucked up world that gets you (at least most of the time); that you aren’t alone, even when you’re drifting out at sea.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The past year has been hard. I’ve lived through it, and I would have probably lived through it if I was alone. But I wasn’t. Al was there, in the background, as well as holding me up. He didn’t judge me when I told him I was depressed. Instead, he took me on a walk in the woods and we talked. When my dad died alone and I blamed myself, he let me crumple in on myself on his living room floor until I had cried every bad thing out of me. When I was afraid of relapsing with self-harm, he talked to me, he held me together. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m not saying a “boyfriend” will solve my problems. Love does. Love is so simple, and the answer to nearly everything.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">These words always seem to fall short of what I want to say, but I am so grateful we met. I’m so thankful we’ve been together for this long, that my monsters haven’t scared him away, that his “normalness” hasn’t scared me either. There is no one I can better imagine spending the rest of my life with than this person. I don’t care about marriage. I just care about time.</span></div>
<br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because nine years isn’t enough.</span>Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-60560702747180458432014-09-10T15:54:00.004-07:002014-09-10T15:57:09.553-07:00What I've Learned Since Graduation<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today, I went to Wawa. Exciting, I know. Stay with me.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m dog sitting right now and they like to get up at five, so that’s when I was awake. I went to Wawa early this morning to get something to eat, and forgot that in this general area, Wawa is Mecca, the end all be all of places to get gas and crappy breakfast sandwiches.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Anyway, I saw them all in their various work clothes. Construction workers, men in suits, women in scrubs, a few people my age in uniforms for places like Target or Best Buy.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And it occurred to me, these people probably do this every day. They look at me in my pajamas and probably think I’m stumbling in after a night of partying or that I’m sick or something, ordering soup from the touch screen before retreating back to my house.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-cd8da8fb-61b0-481c-5e95-5b148c28f3da" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hell, even when I tell people what I do, they don’t think I have an actual job. They think I sit at home watching cat videos and Ancient Aliens all day or something. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve been out of college for four months now. I have just completed my first resume. And I have applied for zero jobs. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I work on the weekends at Petsmart (a job where I get to work with </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #c27ba0;"><a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/post/96399931839/me-and-the-bird-at-work-he-likes-kisses" target="_blank">animals</a></span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, so I love it, but it’s not something I see myself doing forever, or even full time), and during the week, this is what I’ve been doing:</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #c27ba0;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Nikki-Rae/e/B00B8YR0Y6/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1410388618&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Selling books on Amazon</a></span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="http://33.media.tumblr.com/4625435fda028b7c61540027fe8c54b2/tumblr_n5mg0vAEfF1shhi5zo1_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://33.media.tumblr.com/4625435fda028b7c61540027fe8c54b2/tumblr_n5mg0vAEfF1shhi5zo1_1280.png" height="165" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Writing two books at once</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Promoting my work</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Answering emails</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Designing book covers</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Editing my own work</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Workshopping the work of friends</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Going to a few book fairs/library events</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Freelance Ghostwriting</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I am also one half of </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #c27ba0;"><a href="http://metamorphosiseditingservices.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Metamorphosis Editing Services</a></span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, an editing company I made up with little hope of succeeding, but I wanted to try it out anyway. So Freelance Editing (it’s going better than expected, btw).</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let’s just break down the monetary value of these things, shall we?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Petsmart: $150/week</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Writing two books at once: $0</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Amazon Book Sales: depending on the month, $100-$200 per month</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Promoting my work: $0</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Answering emails: $0</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Designing book covers: $150 per cover</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Editing my own work: $0</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Workshopping the work of friends: $0</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Going to a few book fairs/library events $10-$100 (depending on how many paperbacks I sell)</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Freelance ghostwriting: $150-$300 per book (yes, per BOOK)</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Freelance editing: $25-$400 per manuscript (depending on word count)</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What does all this mean? Well, I’m a poor-ass writer/editor for one thing, but let’s not think about that, shall we? What it means, on some level, is that I do a hell of a lot of work for little to no money. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Writing is my first love, and I’m proud of whatever I write, even if I never sell a single book, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not more proud when I get paid for all the hard work. It’s as though I have a “real” job, one where I can support myself with something that I love doing.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The same goes for the rest of the above listed “jobs”. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But there are people my age (and younger) who are doing more, and getting paid wayyyy more. They go to an office every day for a fixed amount of time, do the work given to them, have paid sick days, health insurance, and vacation time.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t have any of that. I stay up odd hours writing, I spend eight hours a day editing/ghostwriting, then I work at Petsmart on the weekends. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like I said, I have yet to apply for a “real” job. (I find that’s a term people use a lot since I’ve gotten out of college. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When am I going to get a real job? Why are you tired? It’s not like you have a real 9-5</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> job. etc.)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The fact of the matter is, like many people caught between college and real life, I’m scared. Plain and simple, I’m terrified of applying for jobs I probably won’t get, going to interviews I’ll probably be too nervous to get through without embarrassing myself, and maybe getting hired for a job that I may or may not like.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t have extra money lying around. I don’t go out and party with my friends, and the only pair of jeans I have has a hole in the crotch that I've sown three times. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I’m happy.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I love going on the computer and working all day. I love connecting with people and helping them with their work. I love creating my own worlds and characters and putting a book out into the world after a long journey.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="http://www.justin-ryan.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/pen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.justin-ryan.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/pen.jpg" height="204" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is by no means a steady source of income, but I don’t really care about that.I’m slowly learning that I can either do something I love (while building my resume) between now and getting a “real” job, or hate every second of my actual “real” job. Sure, I could fix my car or get a cat, but I’d be miserable.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I guess what I mean to say is that I’m in no rush. I’m okay with being poor if I’m happy. I’m fine with writing and editing when it could eventually lead me to the right job. I see people my age scrambling, applying for job after job even if it means it’s not what they went to school for or if that they may be stuck behind a desk counting beans or whatever people in cubicles do all day.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I spent most of my college career worrying about getting a job. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They train you, with or without knowing, to apply yourself and stick to deadlines, pay close attention to detail, and to work harder. But how do you tell a company you have these skills when they've heard it from a million other applicants? How do you make them notice you when you are just one more voice, shouting into the void that you too, would like a “real” job.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I feel like we’re all pretending to be Pinocchio or something, telling ourselves that some day, we’ll all be real boys. We’re so concerned with the goal of having an “adult” life with a “real” job that we kill ourselves in trying to make all the pieces fit together and form a life we want to live. We tell fibs about how well our lives are going post graduation, some of us even lie about what we've done in order to impress people, some of them being the ones who we want to hire us.</span></div>
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS9ifZdQnQ-iafqJFpS1gckTUx6oE2QgxvyJQn0j470kTRzZnKs" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS9ifZdQnQ-iafqJFpS1gckTUx6oE2QgxvyJQn0j470kTRzZnKs" width="320" /></a><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I’m already living the life I want to live, for the most part, and I don't have to make any of it up. Yes, I’d love to own a house and go to California to visit my aunt and my cousin, but for now, I’m content. I’m not scared of what I’m doing because I </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">know</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> what I’m doing.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And right now, I’m okay with it.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So this is what I’ve learned since graduation: It doesn't matter. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Don’t look at what other people are doing or what jobs they’re getting. Don’t compare yourself to people who are living a different life than you. If you’re happy and surviving, you’re alright. You will figure it out. Maybe soon, maybe years from now. It doesn't matter. In the words of my stepfather, do what you want and fuck everyone else.</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">: )</span>Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-26431107865793589782014-07-10T05:35:00.001-07:002014-07-10T05:39:03.724-07:00Three AM thoughts: How I'm dealing.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s been a long time since I’ve woken up in the middle of
the night with the undeniable urge to write something that wasn’t fiction. I
woke up last night with that urge, and I don’t know how any of it turned out
because I don’t want to chicken out of posting this. Because I feel like it’s
important that I get these thoughts out there, for anyone who can gain
something from them. I don’t do stuff like this that often, and it’s been a
while since I got personal on my page, but if you click back through older
posts, that’s all I used to do. </i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Over the past six months, maybe year or two (I can’t remember
shit lol) I’ve been struggling with some issues. I’ve tried many things to
cope. Writing is one of them. It always has and always will be. But it isn’t
often that I write non-fiction. Fiction makes it so I can deal with what I have
through a filter, but sometimes I don’t want one. Sometimes I feel the need to deal with things in a raw and unobstructed way. I think that’s what I was doing
early this morning.</i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>For me, it’s important to not just show my successes and
have people think I live an amazing life full of writing and fun stuff. Don’t
get me wrong. What you’re about to read may have you think that I’m hopeless
and ungrateful. I’m not. I love my readers and bloggers and friends and family
and a lot of times, these are the things that help me the most. But a lot of my
life hasn’t been so fun lately and I think it’s worth it to show that to people
as well. I hope at least some of you appreciate this. </i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Here are my Three AM thoughts from last night, unedited and
unrevised:</i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Having anxiety and depression is a lot like being thrown
into the deep end of the pool when you don’t know </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
how to swim (for the record,
I hate water and I don’t really know how to swim. So this is a great analogy,
huh?). When you first experience it, you don’t really know what’s going on. As
a result, you flail around, kicking, screaming, crying, pleading—doing anything
it takes to keep your head above water so you don’t drown. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was diagnosed at a very young age with anxiety. I don’t remember
much about it with the exception of the panic attacks. I’ve always been able to
remember each and every one of those. I know that I was in<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>third grade, in the middle of story time,
when I first had one. I remember how I scared the other kids in my class and
how I didn’t return to school until the middle of fourth grade because I couldn’t
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">function</i> like everyone else. I don’t really
know what caused the anxiety. I wrote about that a little <a href="http://nikkixrae.blogspot.com/2013/11/how-afi-saved-me-from-drowning.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d5a6bd;">HERE</span></a>.<br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My doctors and therapists seemed to have thought it had something to do with my
parents getting a divorce, but I was so little that my parents always spoke for
me, so I don’t know how much of that theory is real and how much of it was them
trying to explain why their daughter was acting out. It probably didn’t help
that my parents’ toxic relationship was even more toxic now that they were leaving
each other, unwillingly placing their children in the middle of a war-zone, but
I think there’s probably a lot more to it that I don’t understand. Even
now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The double-whammy of depression and anxiety is just plain
evil. That saying of “I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy?” Yeah. That makes a
lot of sense here. I don’t sleep. I have trouble doing “normal” things like
hanging out with friends and driving. I have a hard time enjoying things, I
have a hard time believing what I’m doing is worth anything at all. Then I get
anxious about what’s wrong with me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I step back and look at my life the
way an outsider would, I’m happy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think it’s important to point out that sadness,
depression, mental illness in general, is not a straight line. Things can be
good and bad at the same time. You can be happy and sad at the same time.
Confusing? I know.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s why I thought it was important to write this post. So
very few people understand what it’s like, and I’ve been struggling to explain it
since I was very, very young. I still don’t know how. All I know is that I’m
more aware of my “issues” than I was before, and all I can do is try to float around
without bumping into anything that will make me start flailing again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was doing okay until January. I was having anxiety issues
because of school and stress and whatnot, but in general, I was alright.
Functioning.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I cannot explain what it’s like when a sibling calls you to
say that one of your parents has died. That two police officers showed up on
the middle of the night to tell them and they were too upset to call you until
morning. I can’t explain that at all, but I can tell you how the snow was
falling outside the window, how quiet everything was. And how loud.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also can’t explain what it’s like trying to plan a funeral
when you didn’t talk your parent for the last three years of his life. People
have told me that it’s better we weren’t close, that if I really loved him, if
we were really in each others’ lives, it would have been harder. That’s where
they’re wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s like he left us an
enormous puzzle. One with missing pieces and even the pieces that are there are
warped and don’t fit in the right places. Six months later, and we’re still
trying to put the pieces together, still trying to move on when he’s everywhere
and nowhere. When we have no answers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Depression and anxiety affects literally every aspect of my
life. It controls everything. It tells me what to think, how to feel, what to
eat, how to dress, what to write about, what to worry about. It doesn’t matter
that I know that some of these thoughts (a lot of times most of them) aren’t
rational. Hell, sometimes I’ll pace the room anxious just about the <i>next time</i> I’ll
be anxious. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t sleep. My stomach hurts all the time. I never feel
healthy. I never like or enjoy anything completely. I question everything (good
and bad) that happens in my life and wonder if I deserve it.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is no way to live, yet I’ve lived this way for as long
as I can remember. However, I think my dad dying the way he did put everything
into perspective. He was alone because of his mental illness, and although alcoholism
and my issues are completely different in a lot of ways, I’m drawing lines from
one to the other daily. I’m realizing that we aren’t that much different. And
it scares me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been told that anxiety is a “fight or flight” response.
That when my brain doesn’t know how to deal with something, it just shuts down—something
maybe left over from an earlier time. I don’t know about that. I think it could
be true, but I also think it’s something that I can’t explain away that simply.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am so grateful to the people in my life, but I honestly don’t
know why or how they find the strength to put up with me. How I can flail
around and there’s always someone there trying to pull me out. Al and I have
been together for eight years. When I first told him about anxiety, I remember<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the confused look that passed over his face,
like so many others. I remember how nervous I was to tell him that I had
depression, seeing that same confused look. But he just hugged me and told me
he wanted me to be happy. He still does that. And I don’t know how or why he does.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Part of me will always be afraid that I’ll tell him I’m
under a bad wave and he’ll decide he’s had enough. Move on to a normal happy
girl, but I know that I’ve never loved anyone so completely and so without
question that it scares me even more. I’m afraid of myself and what I do to the
people around me. I make them worry. I make them sad or upset. They feel
helpless or like they aren’t enough to make me happy. What they don’t understand
is that they are. They are more than enough, and although I don’t say it to
them as often as I should, they make the whole getting out of bed and trying to
live life normally thing worth it. If I didn’t have my friends and sisters, I
think I would be a lot worse.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love is something I’ve never truly been comfortable with. I
think it has a lot to do with how I was brought up, how easily things changed
for the worse and how easily it was for someone to tell you they loved you and
then turn around and drink themselves sick while you were around.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m beginning to realize that while I didn’t always have a
good relationship with my father, I know he loved me. I remember we would ask
him to stop drinking as young as nine years old, beg him to for hours on the
phone when he called drunk, asking why we didn’t want to see him. I never believed
I was enough. I always thought that if he loved us, he could stop putting
something that hurt him and everyone around him above us. I think I’m slowly
starting to understand. He did love us. There were just other things in the
way. There was some part of his brain that didn’t let him love me completely,
that didn’t let me believe him completely. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s my biggest fear that this is how the people I love will
one day see me. That despite how much I tell them I love them and how much I
try to show it, they’ll never fully believe me because they know that deep down
I’m not happy and that they aren’t enough.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s why, after years and years of struggling to do this
on my own, I’ve decided to be put on medication. I’m leaving to hang out in the
mountains tomorrow night and when I get back, I’m starting on it. Real,
honest-to-god, not-herbal-all-chemical medication. Understand me when I say
that this scares the living shit out of me. I don’t want to be taking pills
that alter my mood or who I am, I don’t want to end up more screwed up than I
am now. I am anxious about taking medicine that will help me be less anxious. Come
on, it doesn’t get more confusing than that. Lol.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know that the people closest to me will be supportive no
matter what. I know that there are strangers reading this now who will support
me because they’ve been through similar things. I think it’s important to point
out that I am not writing this for attention, I’m writing this for the reason I
write anything: to help others. I want it to be okay to talk about issues like
this. I want it to be okay to be scared, to ask for help, to say that you’re
tired of flailing and you need someone to pull you out of the deep end. If I can
be something like that to even one person, I’m happy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I guess I’ll end this here. I’m writing this at 3AM in the
dark and it’ll all probably look different in the morning, but I wanted to get
this out there. I just wanted to let you—whoever you are—know that I’m trying.
I really am. That’s all any of us can do. Stay with me. We’ll be okay.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZuBqAKoFlykfVfOPJq1P1U8PatNy0-J11qWmg7HEYehoLk8kUDq5deJCQV0Ztp5IT0Yytk7WxJ-69pi88cE1eMGR1t9UotcN_JHSZOmXJSR67-VYa8t5bcjxigvf6sGOooSbYGG37QVu7/s1600/tomorrow+will+be+better.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZuBqAKoFlykfVfOPJq1P1U8PatNy0-J11qWmg7HEYehoLk8kUDq5deJCQV0Ztp5IT0Yytk7WxJ-69pi88cE1eMGR1t9UotcN_JHSZOmXJSR67-VYa8t5bcjxigvf6sGOooSbYGG37QVu7/s1600/tomorrow+will+be+better.jpg" height="240" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">http://twloha.tumblr.com/</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you for reading this post. I love you. Your regularly
scheduled book news and so forth with continue soon. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">: )</span></div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-25293468748226377862014-06-09T15:25:00.002-07:002014-06-09T15:25:47.657-07:00The Donor (Part One) Cover Reveal and Blog Tour List!Okay, let's start this out right, with the cover for my newest work, The Donor (Part One) out July 14th:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMXqhkjA1rAtwTakziBOJYCq1W_lQsnwvvMxQPNugadSvvh5RMJ9tjmd9KDFWHBa0Lz_tmBZF7M8W7trNgDyxcbInn-2IApHrZCAa_cksSO1Na5bObkHYEHT9dnb54LIWcnTBBeZX4I5DY/s1600/The+Donor+Cover+Final.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMXqhkjA1rAtwTakziBOJYCq1W_lQsnwvvMxQPNugadSvvh5RMJ9tjmd9KDFWHBa0Lz_tmBZF7M8W7trNgDyxcbInn-2IApHrZCAa_cksSO1Na5bObkHYEHT9dnb54LIWcnTBBeZX4I5DY/s1600/The+Donor+Cover+Final.png" height="640" width="400" /> </a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And I guess I should give you a synopsis as well:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show">Casey Williams
and her family are poor. Her parents work non-stop and so does she,
just so they can keep the trailer roof from leaking.<br /> They’re getting by fine enough when the headaches start. Then there’s the nosebleeds. And the inevitable doctor’s bills.<br />
Fortunately for Casey, there’s MyTrueMatch.com: an exclusive, quick,
and almost easy way to pay it all back before her parents even have to
know.<br /> All she has to do is give a man she’s never met whatever he wants from her body.<br /> Inside or out.</span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
So. What do you think?<br />
I figured I would use all that knowledge I gathered at community college as a Fine Arts major and put it to good use. I'm proud to say that this is the first cover I've ever made myself and I'm happy with how it's turned out. I have a really specific vision for these little novellas (they're only about 30 pages each) and this one fits perfectly with the three ideas I have. This story started, like so many, in workshop class. I had a story due in a week and had written nothing because I was so busy with school.<br />
Then, I was sitting in my Spanish class and I was writing in the margins of my notebook as we were learning animals <i>en Español. </i>I tried to find a picture of it (because I take pictures of shit like that), but I couldn't find one. I do remember the first line, just like I remember every first line that comes to me. The one for Sunshine was, "Love is a monster, you see." And this first line was, "'There are worst ways for girls like us to make money,' she said. And I remember thinking, were there?"<br />
<br />
Anyway. I'm really excited about this little project and I hope others are as well. It's also scary because it's so new. I wanted to try something different by putting out short pieces that all go together and releasing them shorter apart from each other than my novels. I hope people appreciate that as well.<br />
<br />
When I have to answer interview questions, one thing I'm asked time and again is something like, "How do you know if a book is ready to publish?" and I always answer in some elaborate way that means something like, "I don't know, it just is." <br />
What I've come to realize is the more I publish, the more I <i>want</i> to publish. I don't mean I just slap anything I write up on Amazon. Trust me, there's tons of shit in my notebooks that never sees the light of day. I guess what I mean is that I write for myself, first and foremost--that's how it's always been and always will be--however, when I feel this overwhelming need to <i>share</i> the stories I write, that's when I'd say something is ready. I feel like this story is something new for new fans and something old for my Sunshine Series fans. I really, really can't wait to share.<br />
<br />
Okay. Enough rambling. Here's the Blog Tour details!<br />
*I'm still open to adding people to the tour on the same days or different ones, so if you're interested, just email me! (nikkiraeauthor@gmail.com)<br />
<br />
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
The Donor Part One Blog Tour (June 30-July 21)</h2>
<div style="text-align: left;">
June 30: <a href="http://sobookalicious.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">So Bookalicious </span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 1: <a href="http://areadingnurse.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">A Reading Nurse</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 2: <a href="http://darkobsessionchronicles.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Dark Obsession Chronicles</span></a> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 3: <a href="http://maureensbooks.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Maureen's Books</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 4: <a href="http://sassycatsbooksreview.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">SassyCat's Book Reviews</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 5: <a href="http://booksandotherspells.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Books And Other Spells</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 6: <a href="http://www.whatsbeyondforks.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">What's Beyond Forks?</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 7: <a href="http://mybookboyfriend.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">My Book Boyfriend</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 8: <a href="http://lostinagoodbk.wordpress.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Lost In A Good Book</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 9: <a href="http://shaynavaradeauxbooks.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Shayna Varadeaux Books & Reviews</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 10: Still wide open! : )</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 11: <a href="http://rschiver.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Richard Schiver</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 12: <a href="http://rubyandthetwins.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Emeraldfire's Bookmark</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 13: <a href="http://electivelypaige.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Electively Paige</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 14 (Release Day Blitz!!!): <span style="color: #a64d79;">ALL THE BLOGS</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 15: <a href="http://theviolethourbookreviews.wordpress.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">The Violet Hour Book Reviews</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 16: <a href="http://purejonel.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Pure Jonel</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 17: <a href="http://bookie-monster.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">The Bookie Monster</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 18: <a href="http://theindigoquill.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">The Indigo Quill</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 19: <a href="http://www.kvlovesbooks.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">All In One Place</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 20: <a href="http://indiewritersreview.wordpress.com/indiereviewbehind-the-scenes/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Indie Writers Review</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
July 21: <a href="http://bestchicklit.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Best Chick Lit</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<i></i>.Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-61302043172260004612014-05-20T06:43:00.001-07:002014-05-20T06:43:53.428-07:00The Donor (Part One) NEWS (and excerpt)!Hello, all! A lot's been going on. I'll try to keep this as short as possible. <br />
<br />
Since my last post here, <a href="http://instagram.com/p/n5d3J2C6gB/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">I've graduated college</span></a>, put out <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sunshine-The-Series-Volume/dp/1491260734/ref=tmm_pap_title_0" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">The Sunshine Series</span></a> (that's right, ALL of them! FINALLY) in print, <a href="http://instagram.com/p/nMXVEAlQ7L/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">went to an art show</span></a>, created an<a href="http://metamorphosiseditingservices.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"> <span style="color: #c27ba0;">editing company</span></a>, which, by the way, is also looking for stories for<a href="http://metamorphosiseditingservices.blogspot.com/p/open-anthology-calls.html" target="_blank"> <span style="color: #c27ba0;">anthologies</span></a>, drank lots of <a href="http://instagram.com/p/oKBn2oi6rB/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">tea</span></a>, worked on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Animal/1490151864548138" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">Animal</span></a> (the horror/suspense spin off), won an award for the first chapter of my Android Story (<a href="http://instagram.com/p/nOvmVWC6uu/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">like, what? Is this real life?</span></a>), and went <a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/post/84117195399/what-its-like-having-this-maybe-gluten-allergy" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">gluten free</span></a> (for health reasons. Don't ask unless you want to be bored to tears).<br />
<br />
Phew.<br />
<br />
Anyway, the most important thing right now is The Donor (it's the title of the post, damn it!). Remember <a href="http://nikkixrae.blogspot.com/2013/12/i-need-your-help-picking-new-story-or.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">this </span></a>blog post a while back? The one where I asked you to vote for the next story I would put out? Turns out you guys really like two things: The Donor and Androids.<br />
But <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21844566-the-donor" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">The Donor</span></a> won out in the end (by the very skin of its teeth).<br />
<br />
There are two sign up sheets circulating around the internets: one for the <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1c_ezgeSUghlrH8bLrl3E7wiFqtqbyXnAL2VTRNTCwHw/viewform#start=invite" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">cover reveal</span></a> (June 9th) and one for the <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1u5fi432G_SuwvCAg4YoiwtuDKydsisLC7HSTcA-2VMY/viewform#start=invite" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">blog tour</span></a> (June 30-July 21). If you've already signed up, thanks, you rock! If you're a reviewer/blogger, why not give a short piece of mine a try?<br />
And as always, please, please share them (or this post) around. This whole independent thing doesn't work if there's no word of mouth.<br />
<br />
So. Without further ado, here's a little, itty bitty excerpt from The Donor to <strike>drive you nuts</strike> tide you over until The Donor's release date, July 14th! See you then!:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
***</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He leads me into the
house, shutting the door behind us and flipping on lights ahead of me. The
inside is just as unassuming as the outside. No crystal vase on the dining room
table. Just hardwood floors. No plasma screen in the living room. No
original artwork. Just plain, white couches, a coffee table, a desk. The
only thing that hints at his wealth is the huge fish tank across from the sofa.
I’m not aware that I’m moving toward it until my hand is pressed against the
glass. Bright purple and orange coral sits on the bottom, two large black and
yellow striped fish slowly swim past my face. I spot three brown seahorses
hanging behind a rock, bobbing with the current the filter is creating.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Do you like them?” he
asks from directly behind me. He’s taken off his coat and sat it alongside my
suitcase on an arm chair. He’s also rolled up the sleeves of his pressed shirt.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Yeah,” I say, turning
back to the tank. “Not everyone can keep seahorses alive.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He lets me stare a while
longer before he says, “Would you like to sit down?”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I turn around, slightly
self-conscious that I went all gaga over something he probably never thinks
twice about. If one died, he could drop another two hundred dollars and get one
over-nighted without much thought.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I slip off my backpack
and down on the couch across from the seahorses. I take off my coat too, and
give it to him when he holds out his hand. After he’s placed it next to his, he
sits down next to me.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When neither of us says
anything, I say, “I like your house.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He rests his hands on
his thighs. “Thank you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Then silence again. He
smiles. I smile. I adjust the hem of my dress over my knees.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“So did you bring the
paperwork?” He asks.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">***</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-2743928418217819392014-03-10T06:38:00.001-07:002014-03-10T06:38:48.141-07:00Sun Damage Cover Reveal!I wanted to write this huge post about how excited I am and how awesome this cover is, but you probably already know that, so...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqwwVB5VwyX8m6Qw9zNTqv88I0PZr0OxwITRabxS1_8K4pI5ei89ucpqBQtbzPgsqhbznVNAbAIzZsx3OC74Tv__UN3mbhkUi7NrkrFnAns9zqX3MiVUWZYRtjb3KoPKprwSfFQI9lcWlW/s1600/Sun+Damage_ebooklg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqwwVB5VwyX8m6Qw9zNTqv88I0PZr0OxwITRabxS1_8K4pI5ei89ucpqBQtbzPgsqhbznVNAbAIzZsx3OC74Tv__UN3mbhkUi7NrkrFnAns9zqX3MiVUWZYRtjb3KoPKprwSfFQI9lcWlW/s1600/Sun+Damage_ebooklg.jpg" height="640" width="424" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Here's the cover for the third and final book in The Sunshine Series, Sun Damage!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">(And before you ask, YES, Sun Poisoned and Sun Damage will be in paperback this summer!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Regina Wamba of <a href="http://www.maeidesign.com/"><b>MaeIDesign</b></a> has outdone herself. This is my favorite cover yet. : )</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't forget, the blog tour for Sun Damage starts March 14th! There's going to be interviews, guest posts by me, reviews, and giveaways of some AWESOME schtuff! Here are all the lovely blogs hosting me:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 11th: <b><u><a href="https://www.facebook.com/BookLoverReviews">Author Take Over at Book Lover Reviews</a></u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 14th: <b style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://darkobsessionchronicles.blogspot.com/">Dark Obsession Chronicles</a></b> and <u><b><a href="http://www.shaynavaradeauxbooks.blogspot.com/">Shayna Varadeaux Books and Reviews</a></b></u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 15th: <b><u><a href="http://shaytasticbooks.blogspot.com/">Shaytastic Books</a></u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 16th: <b><u><a href="https://www.facebook.com/ParanormalBooksRUs">Paranormal Books R Us </a></u></b>and <b><u><a href="http://lebooksquirrel.blogspot.com/">Le' Book Squirrel</a></u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 17th: <b><u><a href="http://wiccawitch4.blogspot.ca/">Wicca 4 Witch Book Blog</a></u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 18th: <span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><u><a href="http://magluvsya03.wordpress.com/">Happy Tails and Tales Blog</a></u></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 19th: <b><u><a href="http://mybookboyfriend.blogspot.com/">My Book Boyfriend </a></u></b>and<b><u><a href="http://a-reader-lives-a-thousand-lives.blogspot.co.uk/"> Trips Down Imagination Road</a></u></b><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 20th: <span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><u><a href="http://sassycatsbooksreview.blogspot.com/">SassyCat’s Book Reviews</a></u></b></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 21st:<b><u><a href="http://areadingnurse.blogspot.com/"> A ReadingNurse</a></u></b><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 22nd: <span style="line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.whatsbeyondforks.com/" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">What’s Beyond Forks?</a> and </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><u><a href="http://nightskydarkstar.blogspot.com/">Books and Other Spells</a></u></b> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 23rd:<b><u><a href="http://purejonel.blogspot.com/"> Pure Jonel</a></u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 24th: <span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><u><a href="http://adiaryofabookaddict.blogspot.com/">A Diary of A Book Addict</a></u></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 25th: <span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><u><a href="http://heartsonfirereviews.com/">Hearts On Fire Reviews</a></u></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 26th: <span style="line-height: 115%;"><u style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://booklistofbooks.blogspot.com/">Book List Of Books</a> </u>, </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://lostinagoodbk.wordpress.com/"><b>Lost In A Good Book</b>,</a> and <b><u><a href="https://www.facebook.com/LBookBliss">Author Take Over at Book Bliss</a></u></b></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><u><a href="https://www.facebook.com/LBookBliss"> </a></u></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 27th:<a href="http://curseofthebibliophile.blogspot.com/" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"> CurseOf The Bibliophile</a> and <span style="line-height: 115%;"><u><a href="http://fireandicebookreviews.blogspot.com/?zx=4f41a9c0ecec15b3"><b>Fire& Ice Book Reviews </b></a></u></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 28th (Release Day!): <span style="line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.bestchicklit.com/" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">Best Chick Lit</a>, </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://indiewritersreview.wordpress.com/indiereviewbehind-the-scenes/" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">Indie Writers Review</a>,</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.pratr.wordpress.com/" style="font-weight: bold;">Paranormal Romance and Authors That Rock</a>, and MANY MORE</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 29th: <span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><u><a href="http://theviolethourbookreviews.wordpress.com/">The Violet Hour Book Reviews</a></u></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 30th: <b><u><a href="http://bookie-monster.com/">The <span style="line-height: 115%;">Bookie Monster</span></a></u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">March 31st: <a href="http://lostinagoodbk.wordpress.com/" style="font-weight: bold;"><u>Lost In A Good Book</u> </a> and <span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><u><a href="http://indiewritersreview.wordpress.com/indiereviewbehind-the-scenes/">Podcast Interview With Indie Writers Review</a></u></b></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">April 1st: <a href="http://booklover2reviews.wordpress.com/"><b>Book Lover Reviews</b></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">April 2nd: <span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><u><a href="http://sobookalicious.blogspot.be/">So Bookalicious</a></u></b></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">April 3rd: <b><u><a href="http://www.moonlightgleam.com/">Moonlight Gleam Book Reviews</a></u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">April 4th: <span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><u><a href="http://www.kaylasplace.com/">Kayla’s Place</a></u></b></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">April 5th: <span style="line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://flipandcatch.blogspot.com/" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">Flip and Catch</a>,<b><u><a href="http://tistarayofficial.weebly.com/index.html%20Reviews"> </a></u></b></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://tistarayofficial.weebly.com/index.html%20Reviews" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">Tista Ray</a>, and <b><u><a href="http://reviewsinapinch.wordpress.com/">Reviews In A Pinch </a></u></b></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">April 6th:<b><u><a href="http://kelliesreadingnook.blogspot.com/"> <span style="line-height: 115%;">Kellie’s Reading Nook</span></a></u></b></span><br />
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-42259086420385292432014-03-06T05:55:00.000-08:002014-03-06T06:02:39.823-08:00An Open Letter To Authors Whose Books Are Being Banned<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I heard this morning that an author's book had been banned three separate times from Amazon. There are specific warnings on this author's book about the book's content, yet people are still trying to get rid of the author's book based on "content violation". </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-699fead2-9797-6c4e-61d4-1549916af0e4" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is just one of the many stories I have heard over the past few weeks, and honestly, it makes me really, really sad. I've been keeping mostly quiet, but I wanted to write a small post about what I think about all of this.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I honestly don't know much about what is qualifying these books to get banned (sometimes multiple times), but I'm going to share what I know. Most of these books are on the darker side, are erotica, or involve some form of graphic content (which the reader is always WARNED about). These books are read by people who shouldn't be reading them, or people who think they are romance books (again, even though there is a disclaimer), and when the customer isn't happy with how the plot plays out, they return the book, saying that reason was because of the book's content.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17.25px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Also, I don't know for sure, just speculating here, but I think there could be something deeper going on in some of these cases. What could be happening is that one person is offended by the book so much that they feel the need to get more people to buy it and return it for "content violation" and then the books are banned. Just a thought.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Honestly, this whole thing reminds me of high school.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I was in high school, people were mean to me. Everyone is picked on during that time, it just depends on the reason. People picked on me because I was different. I carried around a coffin back pack, wore black lipstick, and hung pictures of Edgar Allan Poe in my locker. I wasn’t afraid to make art that reflected the darkness I was going through in my personal life at the time because that was the only way I could make it come out.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But people didn’t understand this, and they were afraid. So they bullied me until I changed what I looked like, until I stopped being different.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Perhaps the saddest part was that I told my parents, my teachers, and my guidance counselor, and although there were one or two who stuck up for me, most of these people “in charge” sided with the bullies by doing nothing. They told me I was overreacting. That no one would pick on me if I just tried to fit in. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now that I look back, I wish there were more people who stood up for me. It’s easy to write things off as “just something that happens”. It takes a little more effort to say when something is wrong.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When you’re a writer, or an artist of any kind, you put yourself out there in ways that most people don’t even think about. I don’t know any of these authors whose books are being banned, but I feel so bad for them because I know how much hard work and emotion they must have poured into their work. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I decided to become self-published, I saw Amazon as a safe-haven. No one in the “real” publishing world would look at my work, but here was a way to have thousands of people buy it with a click of a button. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Can we just take a minute to process how scary that is?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I spent years on my first book and it all came down to someone hitting “buy” on a website. That one small gesture would hang my book off a cliff, where the reader could save it (like it) or push it off (hate it)(Okay my analogies are weak, but I’ve been awake for two days so forgive me).</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s hard enough trying to make the words happen. It’s hard enough trying to get everything perfect. It’s hard enough promoting and networking and getting people to review your books and like them as much as you do and to be taken seriously as a writer.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have been fortunate enough that most people seem to enjoy my books. Even the people who don’t like them aren’t cruel or trying to attack me and my art.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I can’t imagine what these authors are going through. If it were me, I don’t know how easy it would be to keep going. But I think it’s important to say that no one should be forced to change who they are or what they choose to create art from just because it makes some people uncomfortable.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then, when the authors tell Amazon that their books shouldn't have been banned, Amazon almost always does nothing. Eerily familiar.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I'd like to say that Amazon has been nothing short of awesome to me, and I do understand where they're coming from as well. They're a business and just like any other business, they do not like to have unhappy customers. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">However, in this case, their way of making their customers happy is flawed. Maybe something needs to change withing the format. Maybe there can be an agreement people have to check off to show that they read the content warning before the purchase the book, or there can be a way to prove a customer's age before they're allowed to purchase. The way they are handling things right now isn't acceptable. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The point of this post isn’t really different than any other: I want people to read it. I want people to share it.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I feel it’s incredibly important to never censor any art. There are so many things that I don’t personally agree with or see the beauty in, but that does not give me the right to take that art away from others who believe in it. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, if you’re a writer reading this, keep going. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If one of your books were banned, I’m sorry. Keep going. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you are a reader and don’t like certain genres or themes, don’t read those books. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you read something that offends you, think about why. If you can’t deal with the reason(s), put the book down. You aren’t ready for it.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What I want to do is make people aware that these things are happening, so if you know of or if you personally are being affected by the book banning, please share what you know/your experience. The more people that stand up, the more art that gets saved.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sign the petition to stop the bullying on Amazon </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><a href="https://www.change.org/petitions/jeff-bezos-protect-amazon-com-users-and-indie-publishing-authors-from-bullying-and-harassment-by-removing-anonymity-and-requiring-identity-verification-for-reviewing-and-forum-participation">HERE.</a></b></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And support the authors whose books are being banned. Give their page a like or drop them a nice message. Sometimes it's easy to forget that there is a person behind those words.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-64567209176590017282014-02-14T04:15:00.000-08:002014-02-14T04:35:55.985-08:00The Sun Damage Blog Tour Sign Ups are Here!Hi, guys!<br />
Yes, I am alive. Things have been crazy lately, but the good thing about bad things happening in real life is that better things happen with my writing life.<br />
So. Are you ready?<br />
Sun Damage, the third and final book in The Sunshine Series, is set to release on March 28th. Look, it has a book trailer and everything:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/HcVb_cZXswk/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/HcVb_cZXswk&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/HcVb_cZXswk&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
I've been trying to keep busy, so in between editing (It's SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE), I've been gathering all of the bloggers and reviewers I can remember to ask them about helping out with the cover reveal, blog tour, and release day.<br />
<br />
But if you know me at all, you know I can't ever remember anything, and I don't want to leave anyone out, so I came up with this cool sign up sheet to make everything organized and all in one place.<br />
So if you are someone or if you know someone who is interested in helping out with Sun Damage's blog tour, check it out <b><span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-size: x-large;"><u><a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1GU-40eLbZnPXLodiiJ4yMc5auDHFg5uZUBM6pzjnLDw/viewform" target="_blank">HERE</a></u></span><span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-size: large;"> </span></b>and feel free to share it! Whoever doesn't see it/sign up, I'll try to remember you and add you to the list of people to message, but it's impossible to keep track of everyone, so this really helps.<br />
<br />
Also, I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you to everyone, especially now when things have been hard. I feel like I have this little family of people I never met and it's been truly amazing.<br />
<br />
When I wrote Sunshine, even after it was published and people were reading it, I never could have imagined how <i>amazing</i> my life would become. Honestly, that's one of the things that's been getting me through all this, so thank you. If I could hug you all, I would.<br />
<br />
I can't believe this series is coming to an end. These are characters who have stuck with me since high school. Now, as I near the end of editing (Seriously, SO CLOSE), it's kind of a bitter sweet feeling. I'm sad to be leaving them, but I'm also extremely excited for what's coming up next.<br />
And I couldn't have done it without each and every one of you.<br />
<br />
Let's make sure these characters get the proper send off, eh?Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-80413033251440424792013-12-18T15:06:00.001-08:002013-12-18T15:06:46.321-08:00I need your help picking a new story (or part of a story) to share!I've been wracking my brain as to which story to work on next (either finish writing or finish editing). And before you ask: Yes, I am working on Sun Damage. A lot. And that's why it's good to take a little break to work on something else. Right? Right.<br />
And I have so many new stories/pieces of stories that I'm excited about, but I don't know which one people would want to read first. So I am turning to you, internet friends and family, to help me decide.<br />
Here's a little bit on each story. If any of them interest you, just vote at the bottom. I'm hoping to have it posted by New Year's Day!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #222222; line-height: 19.1875px;"><b>Beholder(Short story):</b> </span><span style="color: #222222; line-height: 19.1875px;">Beholder is a story about sight. And fish. And a serial killer. </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://austinponddoctor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Assorted-Goldfish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://austinponddoctor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Assorted-Goldfish.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.1875px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; line-height: 19.1875px; text-align: center;">
<span style="clear: left; color: #222222; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Shadow Tag (Story):</b> This is flash fiction (I think). And it's experimental. Shadows move among his world, and only he can stop them. He can't even write about them without the lines being crossed out.</span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipVU8ETxfZheY7v-5kcjeQGS7MlDbMxZTg4MiawRYcoH2iKKmMx1hyPTl2hzqvXeOIBviQDPTTMzJLwmsDSn0VctDoGdOWJK2vdP0sefWUKTx2Z32rIxJAvRb0i_Zzu52sPUbjd_d_9Oo4/s1600/shadow+tag.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipVU8ETxfZheY7v-5kcjeQGS7MlDbMxZTg4MiawRYcoH2iKKmMx1hyPTl2hzqvXeOIBviQDPTTMzJLwmsDSn0VctDoGdOWJK2vdP0sefWUKTx2Z32rIxJAvRb0i_Zzu52sPUbjd_d_9Oo4/s320/shadow+tag.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The rough draft. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.1875px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.1875px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; line-height: 19.1875px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Stranger on The Train(Chapter one of "the android story")</b>: Are you a human or a machine, and which is worse?</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr6uGYZQFV5DQikg1nGgrAbtUF3COrt_esBzvn-iH4Oo0cbKCO7JiJLFGPoUEY26OVgLh32zW5uYPi-2ODa1bGacpl5huVW92ZCTiALQnFUR-PABoAI5JSuyoPyqD-mnctW1FHodzkkj9_/s1600/stranger.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr6uGYZQFV5DQikg1nGgrAbtUF3COrt_esBzvn-iH4Oo0cbKCO7JiJLFGPoUEY26OVgLh32zW5uYPi-2ODa1bGacpl5huVW92ZCTiALQnFUR-PABoAI5JSuyoPyqD-mnctW1FHodzkkj9_/s320/stranger.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From my notebook. The first draft.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.1875px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.1875px;">
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; line-height: 19.1875px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>The Donor(The first part): </b>A story about one girl and her desperate attempt at making some money for her family before time runs out (This takes place in the same world as The Sunshine Series, but it's very different).</span><span style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.touchbranding.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/TouchBlood-08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="186" src="http://www.touchbranding.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/TouchBlood-08.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.1875px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.1875px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Ava's Song (a.k.a. a Sunshine Series horror spin-off)(excerpt):</b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><div style="text-align: center;">
Michael has searched an eternity for her. Now that he has her, he isn't going to let go. (characters include Evan, Ava, and Micheal).</div>
</span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfvdw_3FYVZLERZsUNlVCyuUghg8reJgGKUIdTNKD_N03QpucZC5N8Q49PQqmSuFoYcTTh-BE-Xrrb6cLfJyn4trm0oNG5bw5WCLReCRL7Hey7oY9SbV1VFyGSTK__FWXKICWLnuiC0rRo/s1600/ava+notes.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfvdw_3FYVZLERZsUNlVCyuUghg8reJgGKUIdTNKD_N03QpucZC5N8Q49PQqmSuFoYcTTh-BE-Xrrb6cLfJyn4trm0oNG5bw5WCLReCRL7Hey7oY9SbV1VFyGSTK__FWXKICWLnuiC0rRo/s320/ava+notes.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Notes from a workshop on this story.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.1875px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.1875px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; line-height: 19.1875px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Six (excerpt): </b>Corbin is in love with a box her mother bought at a yard sale for a dollar. It's never opened, but she still loves it. Maybe that's why she's been in and out of mental facilities since she was little. That and the shadows. They're everywhere. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://rexpo.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/dea86cbbbea9a343c84e3c279eb30bf7/w/b/wbx203-b-web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="http://rexpo.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/dea86cbbbea9a343c84e3c279eb30bf7/w/b/wbx203-b-web.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Vote for your favorite here:</h2>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<form action="http://poll.pollcode.com/3634666" method="post">
<table bgcolor="EEEEEE" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" style="width: 175px;">
<tr><td colspan="2"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><b>What Story (or part of a story) do you want next?</b></span></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"><input id="3634666answer1" name="answer" type="radio" value="1" /></td><td><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><label for="3634666answer1">Beholder</label></span></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"><input id="3634666answer2" name="answer" type="radio" value="2" /></td><td><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><label for="3634666answer2">Shadow Tag</label></span></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"><input id="3634666answer3" name="answer" type="radio" value="3" /></td><td><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><label for="3634666answer3">Stranger On The Train</label></span></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"><input id="3634666answer4" name="answer" type="radio" value="4" /></td><td><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><label for="3634666answer4">The Donor</label></span></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"><input id="3634666answer5" name="answer" type="radio" value="5" /></td><td><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><label for="3634666answer5">Ava's Song</label></span></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"><input id="3634666answer6" name="answer" type="radio" value="6" /></td><td><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><label for="3634666answer6">Six</label></span></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"><center>
<input type="submit" value=" Vote " /> <input name="view" type="submit" value=" View " /></center>
</td></tr>
<tr><td align="right" colspan="2"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: xx-small;">pollcode.com <a href="http://pollcode.com/"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: xx-small;">free polls</span></a> </span></td></tr>
</table>
</form>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Happy voting! Can't wait to share something new with you guys!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
: )</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<form action="http://poll.pollcode.com/3634666" method="post" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></form>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-54963534003179337112013-11-15T09:00:00.002-08:002013-11-23T07:40:48.288-08:00How AFI Saved Me From Drowning<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://exclaim.ca/images/afi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="http://exclaim.ca/images/afi.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I had my first panic attack when I was in third grade. I don’t really know what caused it. I remember it, which is weird, because I don’t really remember many things, but it’s extremely clear in my head.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We were sitting on the floor in the classroom. My teacher was reading a book to us, and I was towards the back of the “circle” (because kids thought I was weird. duh). </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One minute, I was fine and happy. Then I blinked. And things started to look unreal. The windows began to slant, the dark blue carpet became ridiculously scratchy under my palms. I started to sweat, even though I was freezing. Then I felt sick.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Something you should know: When I was a kid, I didn’t sneeze without permission. I didn’t get up from the table unless everyone else did first, I didn’t like people staring at me, and I did everything in my power NOT to get into trouble.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So when I suddenly got up and ran to the door, I guess it alarmed my teacher.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Nicolette,” I remember her nearly yelling. “Where are you going?”</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">By that time, I couldn’t really talk anymore, but I remember trying to tell her, “I have to get out.”</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What does this have to do with anything?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m getting to it.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Over the years, my anxiety and depression have been intense to the point where I can’t even leave the house, to so mild that when I look back on the intense times, I convince myself that it probably didn’t even happen the way I remember it. That I couldn’t have ever been that bad.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I remember in high school, it was so bad that I missed weeks of school because I was “sick”. Once, when my aunt came to visit from California, we went to a restaurant and she had to drag me outside because I had an attack at lunch and I kept worrying about everyone watching me.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Last year, I woke up completely paralyzed, believing I was in my father’s house, That I could hear him coughing, and smell his cigarette smoke.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I like to say that my anxiety comes in waves and lulls. I can go months or years without feeling anything extreme, despite the stress of school and work, or I can be completely calm and have no stress when it hits me and I can’t even get out of bed.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t try to make it a secret that my sisterly and I grew up kind of in a messed up way. That’s not what this post is for. You can read through my other posts to see some of that.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/a9d96fba952ade4b5ea8378e2b3c297d/tumblr_muop5w2fYL1qda6v3o1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/a9d96fba952ade4b5ea8378e2b3c297d/tumblr_muop5w2fYL1qda6v3o1_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But it’s important to know because I’ve always believed that if we grew up differently, stable, we wouldn’t be who we are now. Kelly wouldn’t be an artist. I wouldn’t be a writer. And Dana wouldn’t have the undying compassion for people that she has in her either.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">AFI came into my life when I was both in a wave period and going through a really, really hard time. I was losing my step dad, I was hurting myself so I didn’t have to cry or have an anxiety attack, and I was really, utterly alone and closed off to anything.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They reached me. I heard one song from Sing The Sorrow and there was someone else there with me, not only inside the wave, but reaching out to me, saying it was going to be alright. That I wasn’t alone. That I didn’t have to be.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This was the band that brought me back from the dead. This was the band who taught me about words. How they can be used to heal someone, help someone. I found every album and devoured them whole. They made me hungry, but it would be a few years before I knew what that hunger was for.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve been trying to delay writing about this, but I feel like the only reason I have is because I didn’t want to admit it:</span><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I’m in a wave again.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Call it what you want: sadness, anxiety, depression…it’s the same entity to me. It has claws, and once it has you, it’s hard to keep walking around like you’re not in pain. It’s hard to keep upright. It’s unbelievably hard to be normal.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For the most part, I’m a happy person. I like my job, I like learning, and I’m writing as a career, getting paid for it, being asked to talk about myself and my books at colleges and things like that. I’m so grateful and happy about all of it. But the claws are still in me, digging in. I can’t help it. It’s not something I can control like what class I take or what story to write.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A month ago, I saw AFI in concert. When I was 15, this was all I wanted to do. I’ve wanted to see them live for so long. But the morning of, I wasn’t excited. Not even a little.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I went to see my boyfriend that afternoon, and I was angry. I couldn’t figure out why. I wanted to cry, or scream, or jump out of my skin. He took me on a walk in the woods, which usually helps when I’m anxious. But all I did was break down over and over again.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">By the end of our two hour walk, I did feel a little better. Drained, not okay, but not bad either.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then the AFI show happened.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There they were: Davey, Jade, Hunter, and Adam. And they were so close. And the first song they sang was the first song I ever heard of theirs, back when I was 15 and under another wave. This time, the song seemed to be saying the same things: This is what music can do. You are not alone. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But now there were new things too: Look at how far you’ve come. Look at what you can do.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="http://pop-break.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/DBP-391.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://pop-break.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/DBP-391.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Singing along with other fans, holding my sister, Kelly and crying with her during these songs, raising my hands along with the hundreds of other people who all have their own shit and problems and anxieties…It was something I’m still having trouble describing.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you’re a lucky person whose life has never needed saving, or an unlucky person who has needed saving and had no music to save you, I doubt, that even if I could put it into words, you’d be able to understand.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">When the show was over and I went home that night, I felt less heavy. Instead of drained, I felt like I should be writing, or painting, or creating something. I’m not saying that I’m out of the wave, not just yet. But I’m hoping this is the start. I’m hoping that this is the beginning of me reaching out and being able to stand without being in pain or thinking about the claws of anxiety.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I want to believe that. For me. And for them. Because without AFI, I wouldn’t be who I am. I can’t say that I would know who I would be, but I don’t think I’d be this person. The one who is under a wave and pretending to not be under a wave. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe one day, I won’t have to pretend. Maybe I will just be and that will be enough, but for now, I still have a life raft. It’s something I almost forgot I had until I saw them in October.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So I guess what I’m trying to say is: if you’re struggling with a mental disorder, I know how you feel. You are not alone. </span><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you can find something else that tells you that in this world, while you’re under your own waves, you’re extremely lucky. Hold onto it and don’t forget that it’s there. But if you don’t have that, or can’t find it just yet, I’m here. My words are here (and I hope they help). It’s hard to believe when you’re under water, trying to convince people that you aren’t drowning, but you will be okay. Waves recede. Sadness lessens. The world will not always be a scary place. Not forever.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">(You can go<b> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6Y27blv4P0&list=PLAWqdov-4V9HfD70FuJCucDXhfV7owiBn" target="_blank">HERE</a></b> to listen to their new album, Burials. It's what's been keeping my head above water lately)</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-3812743011325550312013-06-28T05:34:00.000-07:002013-06-28T07:50:59.229-07:00Sun Poisoned is born!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://indiewritersreview.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/sunpoisoned-ebooklg2.jpg?w=535&h=800" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://indiewritersreview.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/sunpoisoned-ebooklg2.jpg?w=535&h=800" width="425" /></a></div>
As we speak, Sun Poisoned is processing on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, and it is live on Smashwords. It will be .99 for the entire weekend.<br />
<br />
Sunshine has been re-edited and re-formatted as well, and will be on Smashwords for pay what you want. <br />
<br />
And I am FREAKING the FUCK out.<br />
<br />
You'd think it would be different, releasing your second book. It is in some ways. I know how to format now, for example. I know to do it earlier in the day so it goes up that day. I have learned some things.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5GGBhjbqlyAWczTEThDW5hEzNgJLSHD6zSTxpo1NkqzT-_XisJp7THmbmLAlidM68Sxco0mdUYFj6dqGCk9qwnMTqakGfxeJJmTy1V1-Jx4HSaUzsDXTh7gmA4IEsX2XZVCqoIfLsRqkN/s511/duckies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5GGBhjbqlyAWczTEThDW5hEzNgJLSHD6zSTxpo1NkqzT-_XisJp7THmbmLAlidM68Sxco0mdUYFj6dqGCk9qwnMTqakGfxeJJmTy1V1-Jx4HSaUzsDXTh7gmA4IEsX2XZVCqoIfLsRqkN/s320/duckies.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Editor's notes on how to improve Sunshine.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
But as far as what I'm feeling...it's not different.<br />
<br />
I spent over five years on Sunshine. Sun Poisoned took me only six months. That's insane to me. That I could create a book in such little time that's complete and exactly what I wanted. But it's happened.<br />
<br />
I'm still scared. I'm still anxious. I'm still excited beyond anything.<br />
<br />
I still have that familiar feeling of wanting to have my baby out there in the world, yet still trying to hold its hand when it tries to leave me.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh76DaX1fYJ588UD60DcoIOzRzGJ1Fo8xIDSKGjC9nRvxcsApxP3Xs3ERHj_40qfwporQTfUS3_ds1BiV3u7XY3w20_1DAIIM859gGm69gk9mFMxXEWOybA51mh2wu34W9F91VKHL2xuyYg/s421/me+and+computer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh76DaX1fYJ588UD60DcoIOzRzGJ1Fo8xIDSKGjC9nRvxcsApxP3Xs3ERHj_40qfwporQTfUS3_ds1BiV3u7XY3w20_1DAIIM859gGm69gk9mFMxXEWOybA51mh2wu34W9F91VKHL2xuyYg/s320/me+and+computer.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me, when I first started typing out Sunshine</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
...It's such a strange thing, making up stories. I don't think there is anything out there like that in the world. You spend all of your time crafting the characters, the plot, the words. You grow attached to them all (at least I do), and then you have to let them go.<br />
<br />
People have asked me if I'm one of those writers who use "inspiration" from my life in my writing. The short answer is yes. And as much as I did it in Sunshine, I've done it even more in Sun Poisoned. I use writing to deal with this thing we call life. I hope the books find people who have a hard time dealing with life.<br />
<br />
<br />
What can I tell you about Sun Poisoned?<br />
<br />
Not a lot.
You'll have to read it, or the reviews that have been trickling in. What
I can tell you is this: It is full of love, music, betrayal, horror,
lies, and then more love.<br />
<br />
But mostly my soul. I put a lot into this one, and I hope that shows. <br />
<br />
<br />
Here are a bunch of links, if you want to buy the book(s)<br />
<br />
<b><a href="https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/NikkiRae" target="_blank">Smashwords</a></b><br />
<b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Nikki-Rae/e/B00B8YR0Y6/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1372422198&sr=8-2-ent" target="_blank">Amazon</a></b><br />
<b><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/c/nikki-rae" target="_blank">Barnes and Noble</a></b><br />
<br />
Or if you want to learn more:<br />
<b><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6751095.Nikki_Rae" target="_blank">Goodreads </a></b><br />
<br />
Or if you want to come to my AWESOME Facebook party with games, prizes, and a live Q&A with me via webcam (It starts at 12pm EST):<br />
<b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/332181266912053/334981516632028/?ref=notif&notif_t=plan_mall_activity" target="_blank">Party on the internetz</a></b><br />
<br />
<br />
Thank you, though. If you're reading this, there is a chance that you've read Sunshine. And I want to thank you so much for giving my dreams a chance. All of the long hours, the stress of working, going to school, and trying to put out books doesn't matter when I think about how there are people reading them, and liking them.<br />
<br />
We are the media. You guys have the power to make or break an author, especially an indie one. You can share everything, you can spread the word, you can shake your friends by the shoulders and tell them, "You HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK!" Which helps us out more than you know.<br />
<br />
When I see that someone is reading one of my books on Goodreads, tracking the progress and writing comments as they go, it's like I get to go on the whole journey again with them. I feel utterly and amazingly connected to you all, and that's what I want more than anything. I want to talk to you and see your feedback. I want to be a part of this thing we call life, with you.<br />
<br />
Without you, I'd just be a writer, which is fine. But now I feel like I'm really doing what I've wanted to do since I was in high school. <br />
So thank you. Thank you for making me an author. : )Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-51416299465840384212013-05-29T09:24:00.004-07:002013-05-29T09:24:55.283-07:00Principal's Breakfast: The mushy, my-sister-just-graduated post<div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-012443de-f115-5166-456e-86f55d10ebbd" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I wasn’t always the smartest kid. I was creative, sure. I could paint, and draw, and make things up. I also got </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">OK</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> grades. A’s and B’s, and when it came to math,C’s...</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">But the thing is, I tried </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">really</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> hard to get all A’s. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Not because I wanted to please my teachers, or parents, or myself, even.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">But because of the stupid fucking principal’s breakfast. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">That’s right.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">If
you got all A’s in elementary school, you got to go to this breakfast
to eat in the cafeteria with your parents, the principal, other straight
A students, and some of your teachers.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Looking back now, I know it wasn’t the breakfast that had me killing myself over geometry or reading ahead in my science books.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It was because my little sister, Kelly, without a doubt would </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">always</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> get straight A’s, which meant </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">she</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> would get a principal’s breakfast.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">She’d
wake up an hour earlier than the rest of us to go to school to eat fake
eggs with greasy brown sausage and spongy pancakes with a principal I
had never even met, despite the fact that I went to that school for four
years. She’d sit with Mom when she was lucky, and she’d sit with Dad
when he was around...and when she was less than lucky.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The whole idea of sitting in that cafeteria now makes me gag. I don’t think I could do it now if I wanted to. Which I don’t.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">So </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">why</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">, then? Why did I want it when I was younger?</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Now that I can see the whole picture without a frame around it, I think I know the answer.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I wanted to impress </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">her</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I wanted to be on the same level. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I wanted to be able to say, “my sister and I are in this group </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">together</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">”.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/935074_4684320756639_2109154452_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/935074_4684320756639_2109154452_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kelly with her hybrid babies</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">As I’m writing this now, she’s just graduated from art school. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">She’s
taken what she’s learned from around her (good and bad) from our
parents, our lack thereof, and the world around her, and she’s made
beautiful things with it. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">She’s taken what she once could not control and molded it with her own two hands.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I always knew she would.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I always knew she was so much bigger than the little box our “world” was made out of.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Maybe that’s another reason why I wanted to be a part of this secret-breakfast-club.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Kelly’s two years younger than me, but I had always seen her as two years </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">ahead</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">. She was smarter, more creative, more artistic, more ambitious. Hungrier.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
wanted to be with her in this place where we were somewhat seen as
equals. Because I knew it was only a matter of time before she would go
off and do what she was meant to do, born to do. And she would do it
better than I could ever do it.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The morning of her graduation, she invited Dana and I to a “Special Luncheon” for “leaders, high GPAs, etc.” </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">We sat in a room with her professors, adviser, and other students who had all invited their parents.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">We were the only sisters there.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">All
three of us, together, at this place where the president of her college
spoke about how wonderful they all were, where her adviser broke down
and cried when she spoke about her, where I sat and took it all in.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">And in an instant, I was happy that I never got to go to the stupid principal’s breakfasts.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">This.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">This was worth so much more.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Then the next day, I watched her graduate.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
only got about...two minutes into the graduation ceremony before I
began to cry, but once I swallowed up the tears, I sat patiently until
it was over.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Lists of names were read, they called her name, her honors, her fucking 3.95 GPA.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Then it was over. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I watched her walk out of the tent, and I had to wait until the rest of the graduates left before I could see her again.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">And when I found her, I lost it.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">We both did.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I hugged her for what felt like hours. She hugged me back.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">People took pictures.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I didn’t care.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I told her how proud of her I was, what an amazing person I thought she was.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I couldn’t get much else out.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">But here it is now.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The way I do everything.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">All I could think about on the ride home, as I drove her and I back to New Jersey, was the damn principal’s breakfast. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
was always so jealous when we were younger. She was part of this elite
world that despite how much I tried, I could never gain entry into.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">And last weekend, I feel like I was there. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I’m still there whenever I look at her.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I never thought it was possible to be so overcome with joy, pride, and overall awe as I am when I think of Kelly right now. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/581829_10151448579386186_1375164166_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/581829_10151448579386186_1375164166_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me, Kelly, and Marina: post tears and hugs</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
feel like most of our lives was/is spent on trying to overcome the
circumstances we were born into. A drunk dad, a shitty childhood, the
list can go on and on and on...</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Here I am, a year left at my own college, and I’m still behind her, watching everything happen.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">She’s
overcome so much already. She’s one of the only people in our family to
go to college and graduate, she showed “them all” that she can do it. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">And every time I look at her, I think I can do it too. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I love you, Kelly. </span></span>Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-12427875097556970962013-04-19T09:26:00.000-07:002013-04-23T11:29:25.019-07:00The Super Update Post! Away! Hey, guys!<br />
<br />
I have finally, finally gotten a chunk of time to write a blog post. About the same time I figured out that I'd have time to make a post(*cough* skip class *cough cough*), I realized that I hadn't posted something since MARCH. And a whole lot of awesomeness has been going on. So. Here is a list of awesome things that you guys may be interested in.<br />
<br />
1. <b><u>Sunshine:</u></b><br />
As you probably know (because I never shut up about it), my first book, Sunshine was released on January 28th of this year. And holy-canoli-batman. It's been insane. Currently, it needs to sell 76 more copies before it reaches 2,000. It's been on Amazon's top 100 (and sometimes even top 50!) for over six weeks now. It was in the <span style="color: black;"><a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/post/47369311078/my-baby-is-in-the-atlantic-city-press-i-think-i#_=" target="_blank"><u><b>Atlantic City Press</b></u></a>. People are liking it. People are reading it. People want more.Excuse me. Is this real life? </span><br />
It has been truly, truly amazing. There have been book bloggers saying such lovely things about my baby. I have made new friends and fans. I have <i>fans! </i>I've been so floored with people I don't know messaging me about how they liked it, what they thought. There are people asking me why I wanted to become a writer and asking for advice. It's crazy. I love it. And I love YOU. <br />
Which brings us to...<br />
<br />
<u><b>2. Sun Poisoned</b></u>:<br />
If you don't follow me on Facebook or Twitter or Tumblr, you may have missed this book trailer for Sunshine Series Book Two, Sun Poisoned. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/blqyx2lE4Pw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
There was also a <b><a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/post/45134386999/to-celebrate-700-sales-and-staying-in-the-top-100#_=" target="_blank">Sophie and Myles scene</a></b> from Sun Poisoned that I released as a thank you for reaching crazy-awesome-nutso sales. There were some<span style="color: black;"><a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/post/47791690657/im-supposed-to-be-working-on-a-story-for-class" target="_blank"> <b><u>teasers</u></b></a> from my <a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/post/43822450224/guess" target="_blank"><b><u>notebook</u></b></a>. : )</span><br />
<br />
I'm still editing this baby, but it's going to be ready for you on June 28th!<br />
<br />
<b><u>3. Printing:</u></b><br />
YES.<br />
Regina Wamba of <span style="color: black;"><a href="http://www.maeidesign.com/" target="_blank"><b><u>Mae I Design</u></b></a> has sent me the full-wrap of the cover and I died. So you're going to die too.</span><br />
Sunshine is also currently going through another round of edits (don't think I haven't noticed the typos. My favorite one being, "Boo never wants to go to there". I must have been watching 30Rock while I was revising lol). My goal is to have the final, FINAL version done by the end of May, so sometime around then, you will be able to get a physical copy of Sunshine! I'm also planning on giving away a few free signed copies too, so keep your eyes peeled. : )<br />
<br />
<b><u>4. Writer News:</u></b><br />
As you may or may not be aware of, I have joined forces with two other indie authors: my good friend, H.D. Gordon(<span style="color: black;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Blood-Warrior-Alexa-Montgomery-ebook/dp/B005LEPOYC" target="_blank"><b>The Alexa Montgomery Saga</b></a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Joe-ebook/dp/B008GETO0O/ref=la_B009W9FNSY_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1366383728&sr=1-6" target="_blank"><b>Joe(<3)</b></a>, and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shooting-Stars-Surah-Stormsong-ebook/dp/B00BUVWA9W/ref=la_B009W9FNSY_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1366383728&sr=1-5" target="_blank"><b>Shooting Stars</b></a>), and my new friend, Janelle Stalder (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Eden-Series-ebook/dp/B00BFWIDJC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1366383790&sr=1-1&keywords=janelle+stalder" target="_blank"><b>The Eden Series</b></a>) to bring you a blog called <b><u><a href="http://honestindies.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Honest Indies </a></u></b></span><br />
Honest Indies is a blog where we can all come together in the indie author community and help each other out. We're all at different stages of the game, and each of us has something different to offer. We want to create a forum and network for supporting one another. So feel free to ask us questions or just read our thoughts on the indie-universe. : )<b> </b><br />
<br />
In addition to that, though I don't know the exact date yet, I'm going to be speaking about my book, my journey, and what I know about indie publishing at Ocean County College this fall. Watch out for that too. If you live near by, you should go. There will probably be candy. Just saying.<br />
<br />
<b><u>5. New Stories</u> </b><br />
The only good thing about having class five days a week is that it makes my procrastinating powers activate. And when they activate, I write. A lot. I wrote my first second person story ever in the post before this one, <a href="http://nikkixrae.blogspot.com/2013/03/hazards.html" target="_blank"><b><u>Hazards.</u></b></a> <span style="color: black;"></span><br />
Then there was my first 100 word story, <span style="color: black;"><a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/post/46428318557/the-war" target="_blank"><u><b>The War</b></u></a></span><br />
I also posted a few excerpts from stories I'm working on like:<b> </b><br />
<u><b><a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/post/43839805302/our-relationship-started-out-like-any-normal-one" target="_blank">The Killing Type </a> </b></u><br />
and<br />
<u><b><span style="color: black;"><a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/post/43839805302/our-relationship-started-out-like-any-normal-one">The Sink</a> </span></b></u><br />
<br />
I plan on finishing them as soon as the semester's over and posting them over the summer.<br />
BUT. There was one that grew on me so much that it became more than just a short story.<br />
I started working on it one day in <span style="color: black;"><a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/image/45671555805" target="_blank"><b><u>Spanish class</u></b></a>, and it soon turned into a 25 page story. But I want to make it longer. I fell in love with the characters and I want to know more about them. I don't want to give it an entire book. it's most likely going to be just a really long short story. So, this summer, I'll be working on this too, and posting it in installments. I'm really excited about this one. : ) <br />But until then, here's a small piece.<br /><b><a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/post/47108933456/hes-still-in-the-bedroom-when-i-emerge-i" target="_blank">The Donor </a></b></span><br />
<b> </b><br />
I suppose here would be a good place to put...<br />
<br />
<u><b>6. Goals For The Summer: </b></u><br />
This is more for me than anyone else, but you can read it too if you really want to. : )<br />
1.Finish Sun Poisoned and release it.<br />
2. Print copies of Sunshine.<br />
3. Write The Donor and launch a special blog where it will be serialized.<br />
4. Write Sunshine Series Book 3.<br />
5. Well, I guess THIS may be important. Some of you may know (but most of you probably don't) that there is going to be a spin off from The Sunshine Series. Yes. Can you guess who's in it?<br />
I'll give you one name: Michael.<br />
<span style="color: black;"><a href="http://nikkixrae.tumblr.com/post/43253573314/i-had-to-answer-this-question-too-long-without" target="_blank"><u><b>Here</b></u></a> is a tiny thing from it.</span><br />
<br />
I started working on it last November for NaNoWriMo, and I fell in love with it. It's way different than anything I've ever written before. Though it's told from the perspective of someone you meet in Sun Poisoned, you don't necessarily have to read The Sunshine Series in order to get it. It's going to be a horror novel, full of messed up and even darker subject matter that The Sunshine Series. I cannot wait.<br />
But anyway, I'm going to try and finish it this summer too.<br />
6.THAT'S RIGHT. I'M WRITING TWO BOOKS THIS SUMMER.<br />
*dies*(but very happily). <br />
<br />
So I guess that just leaves...<br />
<br />
<u><b> Surprises For You!: </b></u><br />
I want to hear from you guys! I want you guys to be involved in all of this. I've been doing some brain storming and I want your feedback!<br />
What do you guys want as surprises for milestones. Like, for instance, when Sunshine hits 2000, what do you want?<br />
Here are a few things I've come up with:<br />
1. A hand written letter from a character that someone can win (and I can sign it).<br />
2. Excerpts from Book 2 (obviously). Or scenes from other characters' points of view.<br />
3. A signed copy of Sunshine.<br />
4. I thought about making a video where I read from one of the books, if anyone would be interested.<br />
5. Speaking of videos, would anyone be interested in me answering questions in a video? Like, people could send me questions over twitter, tumblr, facebook, etc, and I could smoosh them all together in one big video?<br />
What else? What do you guys want to see more of?<br />
Don't be shy. You're important to me and your opinions matter!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Okay. I think that's all as far as updates and surprises go.<br />
I just wanted to say thank you for sticking with me and helping me spread the word about my book. I truly love each and every one of you and I can't wait to share more writing with you.<br />
Until I come out of my cave again,<br />
--Nikki : )
<b><br /></b><br />
<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b> </b> <br />
<b> </b><u><b> </b></u><br />
<br />Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-12043455614161752642013-03-10T13:30:00.000-07:002013-03-10T13:30:43.735-07:00HazardsWhy yes, it has been a while. I've been busy with writing, and work, and school, and oh. Yeah. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00B6T24H6/ref=s9_simh_gw_p351_d0_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1H9WQJ6D0D5P1GW1R32Q&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1389517282&pf_rd_i=507846">Sunshine</a> hitting over 600 sales. There's that.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I was going to write a post about how freaking CRAZY this has all been for me, but I'm saving it for something else. Now, I want to share a story I recently wrote.<br />
<br />
Usually, as you may have noticed, I'll write a short explanation of why/what the inspiration behind the story or poem was. With this, I'm not going to do that. <br /><br />What I will say is this: if you hurt someone I love, I will make art out of it. No one is safe.<br />
<br />
With that, on to the story. : ) <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRvAeYvK8xhDQAiPHOXJzdmi4zNK_aJ1j2SuSqmB7DebC7VXkIymw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRvAeYvK8xhDQAiPHOXJzdmi4zNK_aJ1j2SuSqmB7DebC7VXkIymw" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hazards</div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> You
just hit a dog with your car. You left the house a rage, and you didn’t see the
large blond animal run in front of your bumper. It was dark—past midnight—but
you weren’t driving that fast. You could have stopped in time if you were
paying attention. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your immediate reaction is to stop,
pull over, take a breath. It’s late, there’s no one else coming. You have some
time to figure this out.<br /> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>The question is: what do you
do? <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are a few options. For
one, you can stay in the car. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you stay in the car, you
can let the stale warm air from the heater continue to blow in your face. If
you stay in the car, you can drive away. You can leave the dog there and
hopefully it will get up on its own. Hopefully, someone else will find it and
clean up your mess.<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> B</span>ut you can also get out of
the car. <br /> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">I</span>f you get out of the car, it
will be cold—it just snowed yesterday morning—so you’ll have to bundle up. If
you get out of the car, it will be quiet. The engine will be on, the headlights
will be on, illuminating what you’ve done. You might see blood matted into the
fur, making it stick up like bright red wax. You might see bone poking through
a leg or two, reaching for help. And maybe you’ll be sad. Maybe you’ll be upset
that you could do something so horrible. But you won’t cry.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you get out of the car,
you’ll have to check if the dog is alive. Maybe it won’t be—you hit it pretty
hard. Nothing has ever sounded so loud to you—but in this case, let’s say that
it is still alive. Maybe it only has a broken limb, but it’s most likely going
to be struggling, stuck to the frozen rocky concrete. Its eyes will dart around
so you can see the white at the edges, like it’s trying to turn them inside out,
so it doesn’t have to see what you’ve done. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But you’re both here in this
place. And it’s your fault. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You think about all of this
as you sit in the car, foot on the brake, watching the heap of fur against the
yellow lines as the orange glow of your hazard lights blink on and off. On and
off. You figure that there couldn’t be a more perfect analogy for you and her—the
person you say that you love—than your current situation. You fucked up. You’ve
hurt something—someone—and now you have decisions to make. You don’t want to
hurt anyone, you want to be the good guy, but that is simply not an option. If
you hurt another living thing, people are going to get upset, her family is
going to be angry. How will you ever be forgiven?<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Maybe you can’t fix that. Maybe you can
fix this.<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I</span>f you get out of the car,
you could try to pick up the animal. You could try to not get nauseous</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"></span>
</span>as the wet fur grazes the bare skin at your jaw when you lean down and try to
grasp its weight. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you get that far, will you
try to find something to lay on your back seat before placing the animal in
your car? Will red blood, purple organs, and white chunks of fat and bone stain
the upholstery? Not that your car is new or clean, but still. These are things
you need to think about. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would you drive to the vet
once it’s in the car? It’s late, so you’ll have to make some phone calls. Maybe
you know someone else who would know what to do, but probably not. You’ll have
to drive pretty far to get to the twenty four hour animal hospital up North.
Are you prepared for the drive? <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And even if you get there,
lay the matted mass of mangy fur onto the cold shiny steel of the table, what
do you think they will say? Is there any chance at all? <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it lives, you will be a
hero. People will think you have done this helpless animal great service, that
it would have died without your help. You could tell them that you found the
poor creature on the side of the road, that it was a victim of a hit and run.
You won’t have to tell them that it was your fault or that it would have
probably been better off if you had not entered each others’ lives at all. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it dies, you will tell no
one. You will not cry. You will not talk about it. In all honesty, you think
it’s better that way. Less people will be hurt. Either way—if you intervene or
drive off—you’ll have to eventually go home. Back to the one you say you love. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4tv3eCpWI1qbfc98o1_500.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4tv3eCpWI1qbfc98o1_500.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>You will have to pull into
the driveway and think about it. You will spend a lot of time wondering if what
you chose to do was the right thing, and you will never know for sure. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you go home after you hit
a dog, after you decide to take it to the vet or not in your car, whether the
animal lives or dies, your girlfriend will still be in the house you fled from
earlier. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I</span>f you go inside, she may
still be awake, locked in the bathroom a<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1878838494774804803" name="_GoBack"></a>nd probably
crying on the cold, dusty linoleum. Her eyes might be swollen and red. Her dark
hair could be dirty from running her hands through it; strands of it sticking
to her wet face. She will probably want to talk. She will probably want to know
if she could have done things differently to make you change your mind.<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will think about this
too, but only for a few seconds. What you will mostly think about is if you really
want to get out of the car.</span></div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-68311172901250335952013-01-28T03:59:00.003-08:002013-01-28T04:00:19.052-08:00SUNSHINE is Born<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--> First, here are the links. Next, you get a story.<br />
<br />
To buy Sunshine on Amazon for $.99, click <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sunshine-Series-ebook/dp/B00B6T24H6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1359374129&sr=8-1&keywords=Sunshine+nikki+rae">HERE</a> <br />
To
buy Sunshine on Smashwords, where you can set the price (so you can get
it for free if you need to, or you can pay more than .99 if you feel so
inclined) for this week only, click <a href="http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/279488">HERE</a><br />
Barnes and Noble is still coming. : )<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--> <br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I’m
going to be honest with you right now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I’m
freaking out. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I guess
I’m entitled to a little bit of a freak out. Sure. Any sane person would be
freaking out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I just
started a new semester at Stockton, I have no idea how I’m going to get all of
this school work done,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and my book, SUNSHINE is available for anyone to read. Today. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Also, I
don’t think I have ever been happier in my entire life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Someone
could tell me I won the lottery today and I would be like, “No. I don’t need
you’re fucking lottery. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT TODAY IS?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Anyway,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>some people have been asking me how long it
took me to write this thing, and how I did it, etc. So, very, very shortly, I’m
going to tell you. Right now. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I picked
up a red notebook one day. I had a broken knee, I had no friends, I had nothing
else to do. I had never written anything as long as a novel before, and my plan
was just to write something that entertained me, something I would just keep
for myself, and read whenever I was bored.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Then
something happened.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">My
friend found my notebook and asked to read it, and because I love her and trsut
her, I let her read it, expecting a gentle smile and a very-nicely worded,
“Yeah, this kind of sucks.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But
that’s not what she said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDzND75nlpJsPFNunixQ5O11GIjfNpwFinbSfCxJY1lUlsvp6yAAwj_kzy-e-z9ew0i2RcW1ORH4wNHL2Nx3G5TwWZzoZaxOJ1laDq8vWxPlhfMSxOwnmLYN4Si4NxcaNp2Uw06D68gITM/s1600/64937_4100178873457_1305960504_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDzND75nlpJsPFNunixQ5O11GIjfNpwFinbSfCxJY1lUlsvp6yAAwj_kzy-e-z9ew0i2RcW1ORH4wNHL2Nx3G5TwWZzoZaxOJ1laDq8vWxPlhfMSxOwnmLYN4Si4NxcaNp2Uw06D68gITM/s320/64937_4100178873457_1305960504_n.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the green notebook. : )</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Honestly,
I can’t remember what she said, but it was something that lit a fire in me that
hasn’t gone out since.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">That one
notebook got filled and suddenly, I had three red notebooks, whose covers
ripped off. So then I had three messed up notebboks in a green binder. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Then I
typed it. And typed it. And typed it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">That was
about eight years ago. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Then
four years ago I met some wonderful people who helped me edit. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Then
three years ago I queried. Then two years ago I queried. Then one </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">year ago I
queried. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">And I got
rejected, and strung along, and rejected. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Then
about one year ago I met an amazing person who told me there was another way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Jesus.
That is a long time to have a story building inside of you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">If it
weren’t for people wanting to read it, if no one cared, I would still be
writing, because that’s what I <i>have</i> to do. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But. If it weren’t for people liking
my book in it’s roughest incarnations,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">if it
weren’t for people adding SUNSHINE on facebook and goodreads before it even had
a cover, if it weren’t for awesome bloggers and friends wanting to read it and
review it before it came out, it would just be me and my notebook, which would
be fine.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But
these things did happen, and I’m so happy they did. Because, I <i>want</i> to share
it. I want you to read it. I want my sisters to read it, I want my neighbor to
read it. I want my 4<sup>th</sup> grade teacher to read it. I want my doctor to
read it. I want a stranger that I have never met to read it. I just want it <i>out there</i> and for people to be <i>able</i> to read it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">And
that’s happening. Today. It’s going on right now. When I’m going to
classes and driving to work and sleeping, it will be in the back of my mind
that SUNSHINE, that the characters I’ve loved for such a long time are going to
be out there for anyone to see, rip apart, love, or feel indifferent about.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">And I’ve
never been happier.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">So,
anyway. I guess this post is just about saying thank you for everything you’ve
done, friend or stranger. Thank you for reading this post, thank you for
whatever thing, big or small you have done. Just. Thanks. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">If you
would like to buy my book (GOD, HOW COOL DOES THAT SOUND?), check out the links above : ) </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Also,
check out my other links in the side bar.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">If you
do read it and have a good reads account, I’d love it if you posted comments or
reviews and things. I just want to hear what people are thinking about it. Also.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I love
you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-7346202849963821902013-01-01T05:17:00.000-08:002013-01-01T05:17:24.457-08:00January 1st=Surprises For YOU!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Hello,
beautiful person reading this post!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Do you know what today is?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Yes, yes, it is New Year’s Day. I knew
that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>(I didn’t know that.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>But guess what else today is!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Today is January 1<sup>st</sup>, which
means my book, my baby, will be <i>out there</i> in exactly 28 days! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Shit. Like, <i>shit</i>. <br />When I started writing
what is now known as SUNSHINE, I never ever had the intention of ever sharing
it with anyone. I was bored and lonely, so I made up this world and these
people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>And 28 days from now, people will be able
to read it. People who have never read it before.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>And it’s scary and exciting and <i>mind blowing</i>. Sometimes I’m sitting there, and I’m like, “What? Am I really doing
this? Is this real life?” </span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Yes. It is January 1<sup>st</sup>, and it
is indeed, real life.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>And a lot of you may have just heard of
SUNSHINE recently, or maybe you’ve been nagging me to read it since I started, but as a reward for you guys, I have two surprises!</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">One: A part of Chapter One </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Two: THE COVER. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>So here we go, yo. Happy New Year, and
I’ll see you January 28<sup>th</sup>! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Here is the cover:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu2cHUaOLWo9As6-IgVAj3jkAhWavhuRH9MtGYZcc8goe3pryGcbpTWbK1mi4DQFlwc-WJwnl1-I4xQYoWZ5G1yZqv4VRQh8lqJQirWks_BcCn4Pv3AzER-p23WTU6UDJ3n4AAjwv4Hr7z/s1600/Sunshine+Cover.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu2cHUaOLWo9As6-IgVAj3jkAhWavhuRH9MtGYZcc8goe3pryGcbpTWbK1mi4DQFlwc-WJwnl1-I4xQYoWZ5G1yZqv4VRQh8lqJQirWks_BcCn4Pv3AzER-p23WTU6UDJ3n4AAjwv4Hr7z/s640/Sunshine+Cover.png" width="425" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Just take a minute. I'll wait. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Regina Wamba of <a href="http://www.maeidesign.com/">MaeIdesign</a> did the cover.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Jesus Christ on a cracker, if you guys
could have <i>seen</i> me when I got this in an email. Fuck. I couldn’t stop thinking
about it for days. It is so absolutely <i>my</i> book. And it’s gorgeous. And it’s
mine. And it’s happening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Show the designer some love<a href="http://www.facebook.com/MaeIDesignandPhotography?ref=ts&fref=ts"><u> here</u></a></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">And now, the exerpt:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 110%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Chapter
1</span></i><u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Solar…huh?</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“I wear my sunglasses at
night.”-Corey Hart</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
are only a few precious days of summer left and I have to spend one of them
like this: waking up at the crack of dawn, getting into the car, and driving an
hour out of the way to go to the doctor. No, I’m not sick. At least, I don’t
think of myself as sick. <br />
“Ready to
go, Sophie?” Jade, my brother asks, flipping his multi-colored mane out of his
face. <br />
“Not
really.” <br />
The
only reason I agreed to go to this stupid doctor was to keep my mom happy in
her own little perfect-pretend-world-where-everything-must-be-perfect,
including abnormal me. <br />
The reason
why I am up so early?<br />
Solar
Urticaria. Reason numero uno why I am not a normal human being. I was diagnosed
with it when I was a little kid. Well, kind of. They don’t really know what the
hell is wrong with me. Nice, right? Whatever. In simplest terms, I’m allergic
to the sun or sun-like light. If I’m out in sunlight for more than a few hours,
I get these red itchy spots on me. <br />
Then they
turn into these sun poisoning-type-spots.<br />
Then I get
super sick and it’s not so nice. <br />
So just stay
out of the sun. No big deal, right? When you live in a place like Bumblefuck,
South Jersey, where it rains pretty regularly anyway and even when it doesn’t,
there isn‘t too much to do outside, it seems easy enough. <br />
But when it
happens to be sunny, I can’t leave my house without slathering SPF 120 all
over. Then there are the industrial shades that cover half of my face, and a
trench coat that sweeps the ground when I walk. I look like a walking Looney
bin in eighty degree weather. My light blue Oldsmobile—passed down from who
knows which relative—has black tinted windows, so driving is always fun.
Especially when you get pulled over and have to explain that, <i>Yes, Mr.
Officer, I know they’re illegal, but here’s the thing…</i><br />
Living in a
small town is also never good when you have something wrong with you.<br />
On the grey
scale, my skin registers at about corpse white. This little characteristic
fuels most of the kids at school. It’s great to see that calling people names
will just never go out of style. That whole sticks and stones saying has no
meaning to the people at Lucky High. They have tons of nicknames for me:
Casper, Elvira, and of course the various vampire comments are never in short
supply. <br />
But hey,
Casper is cute, Elvira has an amazing body, and vampire? C’mon, like it took
you all night to think of that one. Plus, I highly doubt that any of the three
could pull off dark magenta hair and tattoos as I have.<br />
And I can
guarantee none of them look as good in combat boots. <br />
There are
worse things than being made fun of. Like having people feel sorry for you.
I’ve over heard people in school talking about me. How it must <i>Like, totally
like, suck not being able to go tanning or like, go to the beach, or like, do
anything outside</i>. But in all honesty, I don’t really think about it. You
can’t miss what you never really remember having, I guess. <br />
<br />
My only
memory of being out in the sun is so fuzzy I can barely make it out
anymore. <br />
Pieces of it
come to me in my sleep sometimes. Flashes here and there. I was about five or
six. Mom had taken my little sister Laura and I to the park. I remember
screaming, burning, crying. I remember what the sun looked like, shining so
bright off of the metal surface of the slide I was standing on top of. Then
someone carrying me away, shielding me from the sun, but it wasn’t my mother. I
know it wasn’t. It was definitely a guy. Later, Mom would tell me that of
course it was her, and who else would it be? I think it could have been my
father. Some guy I barely have one memory of. A memory without a face.<br />
Anyway, I’ve
never had a problem with being different. You’d think singing and playing piano
for the best band ever and having more than a few body modifications would be
enough to tell me apart from the next person, which is fine with me. The whole
sun issue is just one more thing that makes me different. Different is fine.<br />
However, my mother
has <i>always</i> had a problem with different. <br />
The sun allergy
issue has always been the worst thing to happen in her perfect little life. She
has the rich husband, the clone daughter, the cute little girl, the loveable
but—gasp—gay son, and then me. She used to hate Jade the most, but since he
moved in with his boyfriend, Stevie, she really doesn’t pay him much attention
anymore.<br />
What a
blessing that must be sometimes. <br />
We had been
through countless doctors before I was even old enough to ride a bike. All of
them said the same thing. That it was an allergy. That my body sees something
in sunlight as “invasive” and that the “skin reactions” are just its way of
protecting itself from “unwanted toxins.” I found this comforting in a way. My
body knowing how to protect itself.<br />
“So how do
we get rid of it?” was the only question Mom ever asked. <br />
And there
would always be the same answer. There was no way to “cure” it. There were only
ways of “eliminating accidents” and “preventing” my skin from getting burned.
It was highly likely that I would grow out of it, and all I had to do was be
careful until then. This was fine with me. I wasn’t dying. I wasn’t deformed.
Nothing uncontrollably <i>horrible </i>was happening; it would eventually go
away and my mom would love me the way she did before soon enough.<br />
But that
never happened. <br />
I’m
eighteen, about to start my senior year of high school. I have yet to go to the
beach with friends or slip on a bikini to go tanning. <br />
A few years
passed and it seemed like Mom had given up on fixing me, but I was wrong.
Someone told her about this doctor at the hospital that was into experimental
treatments. My mother called him, asked if he could fix me, and he said, “he’d
be delighted to try,”…I wish I was making that up.<br />
Doctor
Helmet entered our lives three months ago. <br />
“C’mon. The sooner
we do this, the sooner we’ll be done,” Jade says to me. <br />
We’re
sitting in my car, staring up at the menacing hospital building ahead of us. He
tosses his floppy, fading rainbow mohawk out of his eyes again. I shove my
sunglasses on and wrap my coat around me, inching out of the car and into the
sweltering heat.<br />
“Why don’t
we just tell Mom we went and see a movie instead?” I ask as we enter the nice,
air-conditioned lobby. <br />
Jade
encloses an arm around me, pushing me toward the elevator because my feet will
just not move. “Why don’t we just go and if he wants to do anything to you that
you don’t want him to, say no. You’re not a lab rat, Sunshine.” <br />
I groan as
we get into the elevator next to some nurses dressed in pink scrubs with
cartoon characters on them. They look nice, but the smell is making me sick. <br />
Why does the
stupid doctor <i>have</i> to be in a hospital? No matter where you are or who
you are standing next to, it smells like latex gloves and stale coffee. <br />
We get to
our floor and start to get closer to the office. My feet feel like they’re in
Jell-o. “Seriously. We can forget we were even here,” I say to Jade.<br />
“If you’re good, I
promise I’ll ask the nurse for a lollipop and a sticker for you.” He smiles.<br />
“You know, if we
weren’t in a hospital, I would soooooo try to kill you.” <br />
The yellow
office greets us with its framed paintings of artists I’ve never heard of and
its diplomas hung above brown chairs. I sign in on the clipboard the
receptionist hands me, then I sit down next to Jade. The receptionist pops her
gum. <br />
Jade places
his hand on my knee. “I don’t think we’ll have to wait that long. It looks like
we’re the only people here.” <br />
“Awesome.” <br />
For the most
part, I don’t mind doctors. They’re usually pretty cool in my book. If I’m
sick, I go to one, they make me better, and that’s really neat. There’s just
something about Doctor Helmet that I don’t like. Maybe it’s the way he talks to
me, or doesn’t look me directly in the eye.<br />
Maybe he’s
just hoping he can fix me so he can be a well known, rich doctor with
like, five books describing how he helped this poor girl that was deathly
allergic to the sun.<br />
Whatever it
is, I don’t like him touching me. Some doctors avoid touching you when they
examine you. Not Doctor H. He always to makes a point to have his rough hands
come in contact with my skin as much as he can. I can’t describe how much I
hate that. <br />
I hate it
when people touch me.<br />
Soon the
receptionist tells us that we can go inside and a nurse leads us to a room with
a table covered in waxed paper. The only <i>good</i> thing about Doctor
Helmet’s place is that unlike other doctors, they don’t make you wear those
itchy paper gown things. And I wouldn’t be caught dead here if someone wasn’t
allowed to sit in the room with me. <br />
After the
nurse leaves, Doctor Helmet comes in. He’s not too old, maybe forty-five. He
has a pink dress shirt on under his white coat, and he’s wearing a red tie and
grey pants. I always think he looks too tan.<br />
Like a worn
out leather bag.<br />
He doesn’t
say hi. Doesn’t look at us. He stares at my chart. <br />
“So how have
you been?” he says. I know he doesn’t mean “how is your life?” like most people
do when they ask that question. He means “how is your illness?” <br />
“Okay.
Nothing major has happened or anything,” I answer.<br />
He looks at
my chart some more. <br />
“It says
here that your eyes are sensitive to the sunlight as well,” he says. <br />
“Mmhmm.” He
already knows this. I told him the first time we met. I don’t know what he
wants me to say here. <br />
“Does the
sun <i>still</i> bother your eyes?” he asks like I’m acting dumb on purpose. <br />
I
shift on the wax paper covered table under me. “Yeah,” I answer a little less
than nicely. <br />
He
nods like he’s happy about something then finally glances at me. “We’re going
to try some eye drops today. We just got them and they are supposed to help
with sensitivity to light.” <br />
He
waits. It’s my turn to talk. <br />
Jade looks
at me to make sure that I want to do this. <br />
“Okay,” I
answer. <br />
He pats me
on the head like a dog. “I’ll go get a nurse,” he says.<br />
Doctor H
leaves Jade and I alone in the yellow examination room for what seems like an
hour. Jade gets so bored that he starts going through all of the drawers
and pocketing things like tongue depressors and cotton balls. “You know, you
don’t have to try those drops,” he tells me. <br />
“I know, but
I want to. I mean, if they work, I won’t have to wear my big black glasses
anymore.” <br />
How
awesome would that be? To walk outside and not worry about going blind if it
happens to be sunny and I forget my sunglasses. Sure, I would still need the
coat, but hey, no more shades. <br />
“Okay. Just
as long as you want to do it for you. Not to make him or Mom happy.” Jade
studies some cottony looking stuff he’s ripped out of a wrapper.<br />
“Of course
not.” <br />
Jade hurries
to shut all of the drawers and cabinets when we hear the doorknob turn.<br />
One of the
nicer nurses walks in with what I can only assume are the drops in a white
plastic bottle. “Hi there, Sophie.” <br />
She’s young,
probably about twenty-five. Her blond hair is a quality I usually hate in a
person, but I let it slide. She tells me to lie back so she can get to
work. I have no problem with being comfortable around her. If Doctor Helmet
hadn’t been able to find a nurse, he’d be dripping the chemicals into my eyes
and probably touching me way too much.<br />
So I do as
she says and open my eyes real wide. One, two drops in the left eye. One, two
drops in the right. Then she tells me to sit up. <br />
“How do they
feel?” she asks. <br />
“I don’t
know. Kind of tingly,” is all I can say to describe it. It sort of feels like
when you have a cold and you use that vapo-rub stuff and your eyes water a
little bit because of the way it smells. <br />
A few
milliseconds pass by and my eyes kind of feel dry, so I do what any normal
person would do: I blink. <br />
My eyes are
on fire. Not only that, but under and around them, even my cheekbones burn.
<br />
“What’s wrong?”
Jade asks immediately. <br />
“It burns. Damn,
it <i>really</i> burns,” I blurt out. <br />
Then it
feels like I have no control over what my body does. My arms start flailing, my
legs start kicking in every direction, and I can’t stop screaming. <br />
It takes
about four nurses, Jade, and Doctor H to hold me down long enough for them to
put some other type of drop in my eyes that makes the burning stop. <br />
“Open your
eyes,” Helmet says, sounding slightly annoyed that I interrupted his morning
coffee or something. <br />
As soon as I
do, I can’t see anything but a blur and my eyes start burning again so I shut
them. I swear I can hear him sigh in frustration.<br />
“What the
hell was that?” Jade asks. <br />
The nurse
hands me a cold, wet paper towel that I press under my bottom lids. That helps
a lot. Especially the her being nice part. <br />
“An allergic
reaction,” Doctor H shoots back like Jade has something wrong with him. <br />
Of course it
was an allergic reaction. Everything they’ve ever tried has resulted in an
allergic reaction. Why do I always seem to forget that when they have something
new for me to try? <br />
The
experimental sun lotion gave me hives.<br />
The
experimental pills made me hallucinate little purple kitty cats everywhere.
<br />
Then throw
up.<br />
So why would
I not think that the experimental eye drops wouldn’t blind me? <br />
“Just wear
your sunglasses around any type of light until the redness goes away,” Doctor H
says like he’s telling me to eat my vegetables. <br />
“Why can’t I
see anything?” I ask. <br />
“Because you
had an allergic reaction. You’ll be able to see normally within a few hours.” <br />
All I want
to do is get out of here. I think Jade is thinking the same thing because he
asks, “Are we done here?” <br />
I’m guessing
Helmet nods because Jade grabs my hand and starts pulling me out of the room. A
nurse stops us and gives me a pill that will help with the pain. I really don’t
like taking pills. There’s something about how one tiny thing can alter the way
you act that makes me uncomfortable, but in this case, I would have taken horse
tranquilizers if they had any. I gulp it down dry and leave with my brother.<br />
We’re in the
elevator when I try to open my eyes again. The light doesn’t seem to bother
them now that I have my sunglasses on, but I still can’t see anything except
blurry outlines of people. <br />
“Are you
okay?” Jade finally asks. He knows I hate this question. <br />
“Yeah. I
have to pee.” <br />
The elevator
reaches the bottom floor and we get out. The pain killers seem to be working
already because the fuzzy outlines start shifting and moving and changing color
a little bit. <br />
“I’ll take
you to the bathroom,” Jade offers, but I’ve already pulled my arm free from
his. <br />
“I can find
it by myself,” I assure him, “I’ve been here so many times that I can find it
with my eyes closed.” And I may have to.<br />
“Okay.” I
can tell by the tone of his voice that he doesn’t want to let me go on my own. <br />
“I’m fine.
Sit down in the cafeteria and I’ll come and get you when I’m done.” I turn away
and start walking. <br />
All I
have to do is make a left, then there are two more left turns, cross the
hallway once and I’ll be there. Easy. <br />
I’m
about halfway through the second left turn when I feel like the ground is made
out of some kind of slippery substance made especially for me to crack my face
on, but everyone else has no problem walking on it. I hug the wall the rest of
the way there. All I have left to do is cross the hallway. It should only take
me about three big steps. <br />
One: Doing
good. <br />
Two: Almost
slip on something, but I’m still good. <br />
Th— Damn it.
<br />
Someone
slams into me, sending my bag and me flying, causing my tailbone to come in
hard contact with linoleum. I decide the best thing to do in this situation is
try to find my junk and get to the bathroom before I throw up, seeing as the
unexpected landing has made my stomach angry at me. <br />
“Are you
okay?” I hear a concerned male voice say from above me. I’m guessing it’s the
person who bumped into me.<br />
I ignore
him. <br />
“Hey,” he
says. <br />
I feel
something cold touch my shoulder. As soon as I realize that it’s a hand, I
shove it away. That makes my head pound and my stomach gets worse. I see the
wobbly outline of him kneeling down next to me, gathering my stuff into a pile
near me. The swaying, blurry person only makes me dizzier than I was before.<br />
“You could
have hit your head. Do you want me to get a doctor?” he asks.<br />
I try not to
smile at the irony of this, and shake my head no. My sunglasses slip down a
tiny bit. The guy gasps. I guess my eyes are all red and puffy. Pushing them
back into place, I grab my pile of miscellaneous purse contents from him and
throw them back into my bag. <br />
The same
cold hand touches my shoulder, I’m guessing to help me up, but I pull away
before he can. I stand all by myself. “Maybe you should see a doctor,” he says
again. <br />
“No,” I
finally answer. <br />
Then we’re
silent as I smooth out my jacket and adjust my bag. <br />
“I’m really
sorry,” and he sounds like he is. <br />
Now I feel
bad. He didn’t mean to knock me over. He wasn’t trying to hurt me. Anyone else
would be grateful that they were being helped. <br />
But I’m not
anyone else. <br />
“Do you want
me to help you get somewhere?” he offers. <br />
I don’t want
to go anywhere but to the bathroom then home to sleep until the sun just
completely burns out. “I’m fine,” I say, trying to keep my breakfast down. But
he’s trying to be nice and everything. I can’t just leave to vom without saying
anything to him. “Thanks,” I mutter. <br />
“No
problem.” <br />
Now
there’s no time for talking.<br />
Sometimes, your body has
complete control over your mind, over what you do. Sometimes, you just <i>have</i>
to do what it says because it will do it anyway. Right now my body is saying, <i>Either
you go to the bathroom to throw up, or you throw up all over this complete
stranger. </i><br />
So I casually
feel behind me for the bathroom door, open it, chunk, and black out. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-78046579203005210262012-12-20T09:00:00.001-08:002012-12-20T09:07:31.149-08:00Top Five Books I Read This Year, and an announcement...sort of.I had no clue what I wanted to write for this post, so it may come out super awesome, or...not. But I thought I would name the books I really liked reading this year...here we go:<br />
<br />
In no particular order(god, don't ask me to do that. It was hard enough limiting myself to five favorites), here are the books I loved this past year.<br />
(P.S. Click on the book titles to go to their Amazon pages)<br />
<br />
<br />
1.<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sisters-Red-Jackson-Pearce/dp/1444900609/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1356020583&sr=8-2&keywords=sister%27s+red">Sisters Red</a><u> </u>by Jackson Pearce: <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1f5qVCmznlBcZCjNo-AAyiu7FzeNP-nCBzgFZNCm4uALToZlwrK7qT_DruqSiq-zJFbzY0jaEThR-jEizck0wRYKHNqjimryfJwxj1dDCfuBdTDfWnsNlH7aT8HUu4auEKs_BHdsuMiY/s1600/Jackson_Pearce_-_Sisters_Red.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1f5qVCmznlBcZCjNo-AAyiu7FzeNP-nCBzgFZNCm4uALToZlwrK7qT_DruqSiq-zJFbzY0jaEThR-jEizck0wRYKHNqjimryfJwxj1dDCfuBdTDfWnsNlH7aT8HUu4auEKs_BHdsuMiY/s320/Jackson_Pearce_-_Sisters_Red.jpg" width="206" /></a>This author has a few books based off of fairy tales. There's one that is a re-telling of Hanzel and Gretel and there's one of The Little Mermaid, but this is a re-telling of Little Red Riding Hood. The story is told through the perspectives of two sisters who hunt were wolves. It is written so beautifully. It's funny, and there is also a lot of action. Also, the werewolves are pretty scary. In addition to that, these sisters kick ASS. One uses knives and the other uses hatchets. That's all I'm going to say.This was fun to read. : ) <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
2.<a href="http://www.amazon.com/This-How-Molestation-Spinsterhood-Decrepitude/dp/0312563558/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1356020894&sr=1-1&keywords=This+is+how">This is How</a> by Augusten Burroughs: <br />
<a href="http://c.o0bg.com/rw/Boston/2011-2020/2012/05/04/BostonGlobe.com/Arts/Advance/Images/this%20is%20how.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://c.o0bg.com/rw/Boston/2011-2020/2012/05/04/BostonGlobe.com/Arts/Advance/Images/this%20is%20how.jpg" width="210" /></a><br />
I usually don't do the whole self-help book thing. BUT. Augusten Burroughs is one of my favorite writers, and I knew it would be amazing. He did not disappoint. I dare you to name another book that tells you how to feel like shit, or how to be sick.<br />
This book is funny, sad, and truthful. I'm sure it would be helpful to me if I was reading it for that purpose, but I just enjoyed reading the true stories he had in each chapter to demonstrate how to do things like be fat. This man is an amazing human being. You should read every book he writes. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
3.<u> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/JOE-ebook/dp/B008GETO0O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1356021561&sr=8-1&keywords=joe+h.+d.+gordon">Joe</a></u> by H.D. Gordon:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1338955978l/14759015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1338955978l/14759015.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
Holy shit. This book, this book, this book. I absolutely love how H.D. Gordon writes, and this is probably my favorite thing she's done thus far. Jesus. It has everything. Perspective switches, a clairvoyant girl who has a limited amount of time to stop a school shooting, love, death, fear, and so, so, so, much more. I took my kindle with me camping over the summer and loaded 15 books on it. I only read this. I finished it in two days and then I read it again. Do yourself a favor and read it, then bow down to the master of story telling that is H.D. Gordon.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
4. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Girl-Kicked-Hornets-Nest-ebook/dp/B0031YJFCQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1356021871&sr=1-1&keywords=the+girl+who+kicked+the+hornets+nest">The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest</a> by Stieg Larsson:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327708260l/6892870.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327708260l/6892870.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
<br />
Another book that floored me. I have to say, I loved Girl Who Played With Fire more, but the way this book was written was awesome too. You have to piece together different parts of what is going on. Some reviews of this book I read said that they didn't like how Lisbeth was in the hospital for a good chunk of it, but those were my FAVORITE parts. The fact that this girl has been shot in the head and still manages to hack into computers and basically write a fucking memoir to use as evidence in a trial is amazing. This character is probably one of my favorites of all time. She makes her own rules. She fights back. She's a hero. Everyone should give this series a try. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
5. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Fault-Our-Stars-ebook/dp/B005ZOBNOI/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1356022164&sr=1-1&keywords=the+fault+in+our+stars">The Fault in Our Stars</a><u> </u>by John Green:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a9/The_Fault_in_Our_Stars.jpg/200px-The_Fault_in_Our_Stars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a9/The_Fault_in_Our_Stars.jpg/200px-The_Fault_in_Our_Stars.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
Okay. Do yourself a solid: <br />
1.Just go onto amazon, or go into your local book store.<br />
2.DO NOT read the description/inside flap of this book.<br />
3. Read this book. And keep reading it until it's done.<br />
4. Cry.<br />
5. Question everything.<br />
This book is funny, sad, and there is a truthfulness to it that runs so deep it was hard to believe it was fiction sometimes. I usually don't read books like this, but I took someone's advice (not reading the inside flap) and read it. I loved every minute of this book. There's a reason John Green is on all of the end-of-the-year-best-book-lists. DO IT.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So, that's it. I know this post is a little short, but I haven't written anything about other peoples' books in a while. Also, you should all mark your calendars for January 1st. There will be THINGS happening. and you don't want to miss it. <br />
So...give someone a book for the holidays and I will see you on January 1st! : )Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-70192804799014006302012-11-25T14:30:00.002-08:002012-11-25T14:30:58.512-08:00Types of Anxiety Disorders<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
So, I've been really, really busy.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
There's been school work, work work, writing work.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Getting-a-mother-fucking-book-ready-for-the-world-to-read-it-work.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And a little thing called NaNoWrimo.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But I have been writing shorter things to share, mainly in creative writing class.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I am particularly fond of this one, and hopefully everyone else finds something comforting, recignizable, or at the very least, funny in it.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The assignment was to take a "non-literary form"(like cook books, brochures, math problems, etc) and add literary elements to it.<br />
What I tried to do was take a standard "Anxiety Disorder" explination form and pick out and exploit the parts that always bugged me whenever I read them when I was trying to find out what was "wrong" with me. Mainly the fact that while most of the information on anxiety breaks down the basic symptoms, they never explain exactly what a panic attack is. And of course, there's a lot more to it. This was one of the rare times I wrote something and knew I was going to like it once it was done.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A lot of me is in this one, so maybe that's why I like it. I hope you do too. : )</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcw772eyug1qgps28o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcw772eyug1qgps28o1_500.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Types Of Anxiety Disorders.</div>
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b><u><span style="color: black;">1. Panic Disorder</span></u></b>: Fear of having <u><span style="color: #0070c0;">panic attacks</span></u> is mostly what <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Panic Disorder</b> is. Many times the
person does not know why they are having an attack. Sometimes, it seems to come
from “out of the blue”, but more often, it comes from your mother asking you
what’s wrong every five seconds, your classmates believing that there is
something wrong with you, and a general fear of every little thing around you. <br />
<br />
A <u><span style="color: #0070c0;">panic attack</span></u> is usually accompanied
by shortness of breath, people yelling things like, “breathe” at you, dizziness
or faintness (because you tried to breathe), increased heart rate (because breathing
didn’t work), trembling (because you are going to die), hot or cold flashes
(from the life slipping in and out of you), and a sense of detachment because
in the ten minutes it takes someone to have a panic attack, their life passes
before their eyes and they begin to accept their inevitable demise, and living
after you know for sure you are going to die really messes with your
head. Other symptoms include fear of “going crazy”, and the fear of “losing
control”. These fears are irrational because you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> crazy and you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">have</i>
lost control. </div>
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<b><u><span style="color: black;"><br />2. Agoraphobia</span></u></b>:
The fear of having <u><span style="color: #0070c0;">panic attacks</span></u> in
public places (because this is the only place you will ever have them).<br />
<br />
It is anxiety-causing not to know when your next <u><span style="color: #0070c0;">panic
attack</span></u> might occur because it will happen when you are at your
grandmother’s birthday party eating cake, in the dark of a movie theater with
your boyfriend, or when you’re especially lucky, in the middle of a really good
dream as you sleep.<br />
As the <u><span style="color: #0070c0;">panic attacks</span></u> occur more
frequently and in different locations, the person begins to fear going anywhere
as “unsafe”, which is anywhere that is not the bathroom of their home, where
they can curl up in a ball on the cold linoleum without anyone telling them
that “everything’s okay”. </div>
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<b><u><span style="color: black;"><br />3. Generalized
Anxiety Disorder</span></u></b>: Excessive worries about more than one thing characterize
this disorder. Many times the worries are unrealistic, such as “<i>What if I
have a </i><u><span style="color: #0070c0; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">panic
attack</span></u><i> at school and everyone stares</i>?” or “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What if I marry a man just like my father
and he divorces me and leaves me with three kids and no money and they grow up
to hate me and I hate my life because everyone I loved hates me and my anxiety
and depression get worse because I have no one?</i>” All of us think
about things like this, but people with <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Generalized
Anxiety Disorder</b> fixate on them and can’t get them out of their mind. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Symptoms include (but there are a shit-ton more): body tenseness (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what if I have to pee and get up in the
middle of class and everyone stares at me</i>), lump in the throat (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what if I have to throw up in the middle of the
restaurant and everyone stares at me</i>), trouble falling asleep (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what if I sleep in and am late and everyone
stares at me</i>), and difficulty in concentrating (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everyone is staring at me</i>). <br />
<br />
Some people with <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Generalized Anxiety</b>
may have experienced <u><span style="color: #0070c0;">panic attacks</span></u> in
the past (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">whatifwhatifwhatif</i>) or become
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Agoraphobic</b> (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">couldn’t go to school anymore because of the fear of everyone staring
at them, making fun of them, and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>they
hate people in general anyway so the school nurse did them a favor in
suggesting they go on home bound</i>). Without treatment, they continue to
remain restricted in their lives and fear going too far away from home (where the
bathroom is).</div>
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<b><u><span style="color: black;"><br />4. Social Anxiety
Disorder</span></u></b>: The constant fear of being criticized or evaluated by
other people (because you always will be). Simply attending a business meeting,
trying to find a job, or looking for their keys in a supermarket because they
lose everything and can’t remember the simplest of things because their brain
is too full of thoughts, can be highly nerve-wracking. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although people (everyone except you) with <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Social Anxiety</b> want to be social and
fit in with everyone else, their anxiety keeps a tight hold of them at all
times like a clingy toddler. They freeze up when they meet new people (or
people they have already met, especially if they try to hug or comfort them). <br />
<br />
They are particularly afraid that other people will notice that they are
anxious (or not notice)—and this fear causes the anxiety to get worse. <br />
<br />
Most socially-anxious people remember being called “shy” as a child and can name
experiences from their past that correlate with the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Social Anxiety</b> they now have. (Like when their Mother made them
join girl scouts and they never earned any merit badges because none of the
other girls wanted to be in a group with them because they were that weird kid
that always freaked out over nothing.<br />
Things that contribute to this disorder include: your father leaving, your cat
dying, your step-father dying, your goldfish dying, your mom getting cancer,
your mom surviving cancer, your other cat dying, your father becoming a monster,
your father living, and living, and living, and the fear that you will die. <br />
<br />
Most anxiety disorders come from traumatic life events like rape, abuse, or
wartime experiences. Of course, none of those things ever happened to you, so
you’re fine.</div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878838494774804803.post-9861336351095212312012-11-01T22:06:00.002-07:002012-11-01T22:08:23.811-07:00Boo: A Rememberance<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>When
I was in forth grade, I was put on homebound for the first time because my
anxiety was so bad that I could not function in a school setting. I would have
panic attacks wherever I went, and I was afraid of having them which made it
worse and made them increase, and also made almost everyone at school think I was
the weird kid that always freaked out for no reason. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>So
I was happy and sad about being put on homebound. I was happy because a lot of
the things I worried about went away with being able to relax and not worry
about what the kids at school thought, but I was kind of sad because I didn’t
really have anyone to talk to or interact with during the besides my mom, my
therapist. And a teacher that would come for about three hours a day to tutor
me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/553959_2875985102299_987707857_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/553959_2875985102299_987707857_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I think
my Step-Dad picked up on this. One day, while my sisters were at school, he
came in the house with something tucked under his arm. I asked him what it was,
and he looked around, making sure the coast was clear. “If I show you now, you
have to keep it quiet until I tell your mother,” he said in a hushed tone.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>I
loved sharing secrets with Bob, so I agreed. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He
unfolded his arms and sitting against his chest, sleeping, was a little yellow
and orange kitten. It was hard for me to contain my excitement as he handed the
kitten over and I took hold of it, its soft baby fur tickling my face as I kissed
him and cooed at him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>My
mom was a little mad at him at first. He had joked a few times about getting me
a cat, so she was kind of surprised that he actually did. Bob was allergic,
severely allergic to cats. We already had one, Whiskers, when he moved in and
he always had watery eyes and red skin because of it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was
the last thing I expected him to do for me.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Bob
always surprised me like that. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>Anyway,
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>my mom said I could keep the cat, whose
name (already given to him by the owners) was Boo Boo, as long as I took care
of it, fed it, potty trained it, and made sure Whiskers and him didn’t fight. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>For
the first time since I was put on homebound, I had a friend. I had something to
look forward to each day besides endless doctor’s appointments, therapy sessions,
talking, always talking. Adults always asking me how I felt, how my parent’s
divorce was affecting me (even though it happened years and years before), if I
was having anxiety attacks and if so, when and where and how often. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>For
the first time in a long time, I could just sit quietly and not worry about
anything. I could play with him, make sure he was warm, make sure he had food
and water. We didn’t need to talk. I didn’t have to answer any of his questions
besides maybe if there was more food or if I had time to play. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
got a call from my sister tonight. She told me that Boo died.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She
walked into the bathroom, and he took his final breaths and died. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I
was upset. I was so upset and I am still so upset that I do not know what to do
with myself or any of these emotions that I’m feeling. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So
I do what I know I can do: write about it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>Boo
slept on one side of my bed for a good portion of his young life. He stole my
most comfortable pillow and claimed it as his own. So I got the left side of
the bed, him the right. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>Boo
was the type of cat that was always small. When he was a kitten,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>his head was so much bigger than the rest of
his body that people thought there was something wrong with him. I would tell
them that he just had a big brain that his body had to catch up to. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>The
first week I had him he ate a whole tray of brownies and I thought I had killed
him. But he was fine. He played for a while, running up and down the house for
hours until the sugar wore off, then went to sleep and wake up the next morning
fine. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>He
won’t be waking up tomorrow. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And
I’m really sad, as anyone is when a pet dies. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Boo
was the type of cat that looked like he had wisdom behind his eyes. It sounds
strange, but it’s true. Sometimes I would look at him and just think, God, cat.
What do you know? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/61123_3949632062802_945532809_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/61123_3949632062802_945532809_n.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And
he was there for me when I needed him. He was always a comfort. If I was upset,
or having an attack, he could sense it and would be there. He <br /> until I calmed myself. He was an anchor when I was drifting. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And
I miss him already. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In
the past years, I haven’t seen too much of Boo. I’ve moved so many times, I
couldn’t take him with me for any of those journeys, and I wish I could have.
Some of those times I really needed my anchor and didn’t have him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When
Bob died, he didn’t have a will, most of us didn’t get anything to remember him
by. I had three things: A ceramic lighthouse that he liked, A rusty can opener,
and Boo. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/298877_3703919800149_1969983640_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/298877_3703919800149_1969983640_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>Boo
was always, always the most important of the things Bob left me. It was like a
part of him lived on with Boo. Like I would look at Boo sometimes and remember how
Bob would joke about how small he was, or how he would pretend he was angry
when he fell asleep in his work boots, causing him to have red itchy eyes for
the rest of the day. I would remember his raspy laugh when I watched Boo
sometimes. And it sounds dumb. It sounds so ridiculous, but the last living
piece of my stepfather died today, and I think it deserves a moment of
attention. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One
time, I couldn’t find Boo. I looked everywhere and I was freaking out. A few
hours later, I found him asleep behind the dryer, curled up on a metal coil. I
thought I had lost him that day, and I remember the feeling of relief when I
saw his tiny body and huge head sound asleep. I was so happy when I picked him
up and he mewed and stared at me with his all knowing eyes like he was saying,
relax. I’m right here. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>Boo
was an outside cat for a lot of his life. He liked going outside for days on
end, coming back when he was done doing whatever he did. He brought in a dead
rabbit one time. He came up to me with it, giving it to me as a present. And my
mom chased him out of the house, screaming, “DON’T PANIC.”<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><br /> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>When
we moved for the second time, the cats went to live with my nana. I like to
think that they were a comfort to her. She definitely liked having them around.
Then Whiskers died, which deserves a post of itself, because he was also one of
the pet loves of my life. Then my Pop-pop died, and Boo was there for her in
the same way he was there for me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>One
time I went over my nana’s house when I hadn’t been there in a while. Boo
looked different, but he was only getting old. Cats shrink and get skinny when
they get old. I knew this because of whiskers. But for some reason I could not
wrap my mind around it. “he looks like Bob,” I said. I don’t know why I said it,
but I think it was because by that point in my life, I had seen two living
things waste away to nothing and die in front of my eyes, and I was afraid that
it was happening again.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/c67.0.403.403/p403x403/403221_2338814953381_835866103_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/c67.0.403.403/p403x403/403221_2338814953381_835866103_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But
it didn’t. Boo lived for six years after that. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>And
when my Nana came to live with my mom and sister, so did Boo. And when my nana
had to be put in a nursing home after being in the hospital and not coming home
in between, we brought Boo to her window so she could see him and talk to him
before she didn’t see him again. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>Boo
was the type of pet that loved you because you loved him. If you showed him
attention, he’d warm up to you and be your best friend. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>In
the past year or so he got skinnier, older, but his personality never changed.
He would steal food from your plate if you weren’t looking, meow at you if he
wanted you to do something, then look at what you wanted him to do. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Fridge: feed me human
food. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Cat bowl: why is this
crap not human food? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Why won’t he be
quiet so I can nap? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>He
had a really good life.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
know that’s a cliché and expected thing to hear when someone talks about a
loved one passing away, but it’s true. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>What’s
also true is that I had a good life because of him. I know for a fact that if
he didn’t come into my life when he did, and continue to be there when he was,
I would not be who I am now. Not at all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>And
he was there for others too. So if you have a memory of Boo, please feel free
to share. I just posted whatever came to mind first. Besides spelling mistakes,
I’m not editing this at all. I want to remember him the way my brain remembers
him, and changing the words will change the memory of writing them down. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>So
anyway. Boo was…he was the best friend I ever had, and I hope that wherever he
is now, he has a ton of cheese, fields to play in, and Whiskers and Bob to keep
him company. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>I
love you Boo/Nooky Thompson/slenderman/little man/Purple rain/baby Boo/slender
man/pweasle/Boo Boo Bear. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>You’re
going to be missed by a lot of people you helped. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/394183_2314026613688_754042528_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/394183_2314026613688_754042528_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
Nikki Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09687191603520790704noreply@blogger.com0